You will not BELIEVE what happened to ME last night. There is nothing more effective than being in the front lines of a stand-off with a crazy man with a gun and the swat team to snap one out of a �blah� mood. Thank you, Universe, for the excitement I wanted right when I wanted it. So, you wanna know what happened? Great, because I�m gonna tell ya!

I went to get my hair done by the fabuloso Ronaldo, at his salon/gallery in Normal Heights. We�re hanging, we�re shootin� the shit, he�s coloring my hair, and then he happens to mention, �That�s like the 3rd time I saw that cop walk by with that dog.� I immediately took mental inventory of my purse, and convinced that there was nothing too incriminating, we kind of let it go and continued to color. 8pm, there is a plastic wrap on my head and I�m under the heater, when a cop car pulls ONTO the sidewalk in front of Ron�s salon.

Um, okay. Out of the car come cops, shotguns DRAWN, a dog, etc. Curious, we ran to the front of the building, 5 or 10 feet from the cop car on the sidewalk. One of the cops peeked his head inside the gallery and said, �Uh, I think it�s best if you stay inside there.� We stood at the glass window and door for 45 minutes or so, staring in awe at the activity before us. It seemed that each new pair of guys to walk up to where we were had more armor, more ammunition, harder faces and then some. Imagine intermittent upgrades in overall �toughness�. Each succeeding officer was more equipped, more serious, and more intimidating than his predecessor.

Snipers on the rooftops of building across the way. There was a knock on the back door, guy in camouflage asking Ron to turn out those lights on the building. We cut the power. It was actually much easier to see everything going on outside with the lights off. Realizing that this could take even longer, we rinsed my color in the dark. God, even THAT was exciting, our adrenaline pumping, realizing that any moment, the shit could go down.

Back at the window, we amused ourselves by offering voices for the people we could see but not hear. Ron is VERY talented at this. We laughed at our jokes, munched on crackers as we watched the street and waited along with the cops, the snipers, and the SWATS. Then things got really interesting.

A freakin� tank-like thing pulled up, sniper sticking out of the roof, surrounded by bullet-proof glass, save for a little hole that the nose of his shotgun fit through. It drove right up on the sidewalk next to the cop car in front of us. The negotiator with the bullhorn started talking to �Danny�, the man with the gun.

I should mention that in the last hour or so, SWAT members came in occasionally to use Ron�s bathroom, joking with us on their way in and out, peeing by candlelight (remember we cut the power). Then, in comes Lou on a walkie-talkie. �Can I stand in here?� Sure, Ron said. Into his walkie-talkie he described the situation, play by play, and said, �his name is Danny, he�s holding a cell phone, and when he speaks into the cell phone, he seems to get more agitated and starts to throw things and walk around animatedly� get rid of the cell phone.� Less than a second or two later, we hear over the bullhorn, �Danny, this is Jeff. Listen, man, we need you to put down the cell phone, we don�t know who you�re talking to, but you don�t seem too happy about it�. We don�t want to hurt you�.� And so on.

Then Lou introduces himself to us, says that he�s the head negotiator of the SDPD, and that he usually does the talking, that it wasn�t as interesting to supervise. He also mentioned that it shouldn�t be much longer, and asked us for our names twice, so that he could remember. Good ol� Lou. He went outside as Danny was finally surrendering, and actually turned and gave us a thumbs up. I ran outside and got a picture with Lou, don�t worry, if I know you, chances are you�ll be receiving an email from me shortly with this picture attached.

At the end of the article, if you follow the link, Ron and I were the people cheering the cops when it was all over. My efforts to get on the news, however, failed. I wasn�t about to chase the camera. But I WILL say, my hair looks FABULOUS.

-Barbarella

previous | next