�Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another.� - Anatole France (1844-1924)

Sometimes, it really pays off to have personalized license plates. No parking at the office this morning it�s trash day, and every home around here has filled the curb with bins. It�s a bit annoying, but something that is dealt with easily enough; I pulled up in front of a line of bins, parked my car, and hopped out, intending to move them out of my way one by one so that I could park there, when I heard this: �BARB!!! Hey, BARB! Don�t worry about moving those, I�m leaving, you can park here!� I looked across the street and saw a middle-aged man, waving and smiling, then climbing into his RV (which covered two spaces for normal cars) and driving off. I hopped back in my car, smiled and waved, flipped a bitch (read: banged a uterus) and slid into the easy spot. Nice.

Yesterday was a challenge for a lot of people. For me, it was a test of my patience and attitude, at least in the office. I cannot STAND to be patronized. For some reason, it drives me crazy, fills me with white-hot anger, and I can hardly see through my desire to say things I would never say. For a stressful, full and busy week such as this one, it�s almost too much to deal with female boss-lawyers telling me to do a million things at once when I have clear, defined deadlines that I�m working on and NEED to get done.

�What�s this, where�s this, what date is this on?� I want to say, �Check your fucking calendar!� They assume I have all this shit memorized. Einstein said he never memorized anything he could research, and well, I�m all for saving brain cells. They say things like, �Surely you�ve been doing this long enough to not have to ask a question like that,� in a patronizing tone as response to a simple clarifying question that ANYONE would need to ask in order to go to the next step. Everything is case-specific, it doesn�t matter how many times I�ve done something, because for every case, by LAW, I�m supposed to check with the lawyer to confirm it! Nag, nag, nag, pick, pick, pick, �C�mon, what do we do after a colon, we CAPITALIZE, YAY!� and all I want to say is GET OUT OF MY OFFICE. BACK THE FUCK OFF AND LET ME GET SHIT DONE, BECAUSE IT�S YOUR ASS ON THE LINE IF I CAN�T MEET THIS DEADLINE!!!!

Whew, I needed that little vent. I cannot promise that I�m not going to stand up at some point this morning and say, �You know what? Fuck it (smurfit would probably be more appropriate, but by then, it won�t matter),� and then walk away for a few days and let THEM deal with this deadline they keep fucking interrupting.

Okay, back to it! Notice I ALWAYS find my 10 minutes to type. But, I can�t leave this on a bad note, because I promised M.s. that this day would be BETTER than yesterday. So I�ll say this: Tonight I get to have dinner with Dad. Tomorrow I start my first day of school. These things are GOOD. Today is just one step closer to Friday, but shit, I�m not happy about that, because Friday I get my teeth pulled... let�s see... yes I AM happy about that, because Friday is really just a day off to spend with M.s. pampering me as I heal. See? I guess there always IS a bright side.

Now, I�m going to shut my office door, turn my headphones on LOUD and pretend I don�t hear these harpees as they rudely scream for things from their offices instead of buzzing me proper. Don�t smurf with this.

-Barbarella

previous | next