I�m trying to shake this cranky mood. Dancing in my office to the Chemical Brothers does help a bit. Another slow day, which is good, because I get more done when I am not interrupted. Obviously.

It�s almost the weekend, almost a long weekend. I should feel happy for these few impending days away from a busy, stressful office. Instead, I am stressed about juggling the obligations and events of the weekend, organizing and planning, knowing what I�m going to do and how and when I�m going to do it.

Yesterday afternoon was lovely and relaxing. I left the office early, snatched up M.s. and went to La Jolla. Panini with an ocean-view. Sea-lions barking and sun-bathing, swimming around the caves, taunting each other and toying with a wannabe - a human with a snorkel and fins. The day was beautiful, the scenery spectacular. Hundreds of black birds dotted the side of the cliffs, a gopher gathered grass in her cheeks as she darted in and out of her little hole. I like that place.

Last night, we had a pleasant and speedy dinner and then headed over to the mummification workshop. Oh, that amusing leather community of San Diego. The speaker was entertaining and informative (gee, I had no idea it was bad to actually leave your mummy! Oops!) Flashbacks of the very unsafe things I used to do to one of my toys kept flashing in my mind as they went over �the rules.� I really am surprised I never ended up in an emergency room, giving the doctors and nurses something juicy to bring home to their friends and family � �you will never BELIEVE what came into the emergency room TODAY!� Heh, heh. Live and learn, right? I�m still dying to use that alginate I got from the dentist so many years ago.

Anyway, my father returns tonight, I�ll be picking him up. I�m sure he�ll be exhausted, traveling straight from Germany. My family is pressuring me to visit before the scheduled event on Sunday. Tomorrow I should get my paper done, though little second-cousins and big first-cousins are demanding my presence in Chula Juana. Sunday, bar-b-cue in San Marcos, most likely a day-long affair, though it will be nice to hang with the fam for once in a while. Where is the time I�m supposed to have this weekend? WHERE IS MY FUCKING DOWN-TIME?

I�m very close to having some kind of �episode.� I think I�ll read tonight. Read, pick up my father, visit until he passes out, and read some more. Tomorrow, I will support M.s. and give him a little something we can both look forward to. I�ll also do my homework and try very hard not to cry over it (I have difficulty beginning assignments, but once I get going, I�m fine). Sunday, I will go see my family. In the morning, my father walks as a member of the church he�s been at forever, I will be there to see him and support him. Then I will go up north to visit with my family for the rest of the day, and in the evening, Amnesty International at the Ould Sod sounds like fun.

There. A Plan. Now shouldn�t I feel better? You would think.

-Barbarella

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