Fuck, fuck, fuck, I've got a lot to do! I'm officially almost done with a column, so I thought a break was in order. But I have a big project that I haven't worked on in days! Deep breath -- it's all okay, and it's all going to be okay. Don't beat yourself up.

M.s.'s special birthday night was a ridiculous success. I'm deciding whether I'm going to write about it or not, what angle, etc. But I must say, they really know how to treat you at Estancia . Everyone was amazing to us, Jesse's food was to die for, and the private dining room was BEAUTIFUL.

The select group that accompanied us had a marvelous time, and most of all, my love was happy. He said it was 'perfect," and I believe him, because I was there. When we got to our hotel room, Jesse had sent an amazing spread, cheeses, fruits, chocolates, and more! Unnecessary, but very appreciated.

Tonight, I'm going with a handful of ladies to celebrate Lucy's birthday party! So many December birthdays are coming out of the woodworks! I'm looking forward to meeting a few, and having fun with the few I know. Plus, celebrating the lovely lady's special day (even though it's next week) for the first time, as we only met this year.

The only downside of all the good, is that I'm really upset with a good friend right now. I don't like being angry, and I won't be for long, but right now, for whatever reason, I'm holding on to the emotion. May I be freed from the burden of hurt and anger, and move on to the next. Because neither of us deserves the rift. It's just... I just... I need some space first. I need to think about things. I need to get my work done. Then I'll get back to the task of mending relationships and being the best me I can be.

In the meantime, I have xmas shopping to do for too many people (I might shop just for family this year, guys, I just can't afford all the wonderful things I want to buy for all the wonderful people in my life!) I have a few very special gifts already, but I have a large list to complete. Wish me thoughtfulness, I'm gonna need it, especially when I'm faced with all the annoying assholes that I'm bound to be pressed into the stores with. Oh, sweet lagging.

I'm happy, but cranky. What I need is a stiff cocktail, and an escape. Because right now, I'm not seeing the best in others.

-Barbarella

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