Stories My Blog Photos Links About me

2000-11-09

Men & politics

2 things on my mind today. Men and politics. Politics will be quick. I wish I was more involved. My friends are all gung ho one way or the other, getting all passionate and emotional about it. I can understand that, there are some issues that I feel very strongly about also.

But with the two candidates we have, honestly, I was completely torn. I have avoided the subject with anyone who wants to talk about it, I lean completely right or completely left on an issue, and it just so happens this time, I was split. Because of my inability to take a side, I lost interest. Bills, I vote on. Presidents? This time, I didn't care who won.

Men. The other day, I MENtioned 2 guys from out of town who were on my mind. They both called me yesterday. Sigh. I don't have any feelings toward the one in LA, I consider him a fuck-buddy, and quite a fun one at that.

But the other one, well, I go back and forth. He's foreign, he's an artist, he's the epitome of drama. But he's the first man in my life who ever made me feel like a goddess and I have difficulty letting go of that. I have never been so adored as I was when I was with him. A girl needs a little adoration.

On the phone with him, I realized that even though I don't think anything real would work with us, I find myself missing him terribly. His "I love you's" and "I miss you's" didn't help me any.

The truth is, I don't have much experience with men in the traditional sense. I have fabulous male-friends, and the only friend I consider a tell-all "best" friend is male. The women in my life come and go on the friend spectrum. I only have 2 females (other than my sisters) that I really consider *close* friends. And then I have categories. Gray categories, but categories none-the-less. Categories that help me keep track of my priorities with people, because I believe that love and interaction with people and life is our purpose on this planet. So I want to get it right. I want to love well.

The other men in my life (other than my close friends, which is a handful) are randoms. Guys I've liked, guys I've fucked, guys I've dated, guys who've liked me. And not one of them do I love. Or have I loved. Or loved me. And it doesn't bother me, I don't regret the experiences I've had with them, God knows I have a blast. And a damn good story attached to each of my manquests.

But after I said, "I love and miss you too," holding the receiver to my cheek as if in a pathetic attempt to mimic a caress, I wondered what it would be like to actually experience that mutual love thing.

In the meantime, though, I wouldn't mind getting laid. heh heh. I think I'm going to go to LA tomorrow night. I need to live another story and take my mind off my forlorn state with some serious crazy distractions.

A girl's also gotta have fun.

-Barbarella

previous | next

2007-05-19
NEW SITE!!!!

2007-05-16
Links and Update

2007-05-09
Two Links

2007-05-06
Yes, Even MORE new pictures

2007-05-06
Mizz Asshole

Copyright � 2004 divabarbarella.com All Rights Reserved about me - read my profile! read other DiaryLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!


San Diego Bloggers

Subscribe to BarbarellasBookClub
Powered by groups.yahoo.com
Men & politics 2000-11-09 15:23:22 2 things on my mind today. Men and politics. Politics will be quick. I wish I was more involved. My friends are all gung ho one way or the other, getting all passionate and emotional about it. I can understand that, there are some issues that I feel very strongly about also.

But with the two candidates we have, honestly, I was completely torn. I have avoided the subject with anyone who wants to talk about it, I lean completely right or completely left on an issue, and it just so happens this time, I was split. Because of my inability to take a side, I lost interest. Bills, I vote on. Presidents? This time, I didn't care who won.

Men. The other day, I MENtioned 2 guys from out of town who were on my mind. They both called me yesterday. Sigh. I don't have any feelings toward the one in LA, I consider him a fuck-buddy, and quite a fun one at that.

But the other one, well, I go back and forth. He's foreign, he's an artist, he's the epitome of drama. But he's the first man in my life who ever made me feel like a goddess and I have difficulty letting go of that. I have never been so adored as I was when I was with him. A girl needs a little adoration.

On the phone with him, I realized that even though I don't think anything real would work with us, I find myself missing him terribly. His "I love you's" and "I miss you's" didn't help me any.

The truth is, I don't have much experience with men in the traditional sense. I have fabulous male-friends, and the only friend I consider a tell-all "best" friend is male. The women in my life come and go on the friend spectrum. I only have 2 females (other than my sisters) that I really consider *close* friends. And then I have categories. Gray categories, but categories none-the-less. Categories that help me keep track of my priorities with people, because I believe that love and interaction with people and life is our purpose on this planet. So I want to get it right. I want to love well.

The other men in my life (other than my close friends, which is a handful) are randoms. Guys I've liked, guys I've fucked, guys I've dated, guys who've liked me. And not one of them do I love. Or have I loved. Or loved me. And it doesn't bother me, I don't regret the experiences I've had with them, God knows I have a blast. And a damn good story attached to each of my manquests.

But after I said, "I love and miss you too," holding the receiver to my cheek as if in a pathetic attempt to mimic a caress, I wondered what it would be like to actually experience that mutual love thing.

In the meantime, though, I wouldn't mind getting laid. heh heh. I think I'm going to go to LA tomorrow night. I need to live another story and take my mind off my forlorn state with some serious crazy distractions.

A girl's also gotta have fun.