Sucks to not have a computer at home. Rocks to live this close to my sister, who apparently, has a computer.

I was so tense about this last holiday, I was prepared for battle, waiting for my family to erupt in anger and misery, waiting for all the molten-hot emotion to hit me in the face. But my expectations were not met. And for the first time, that was a good thing.

Thanksgiving morning, I had breakfast with my father. It was delightful. We talked and laughed, went for a walk, soaked in the sun on a warm San Diego day. Then, I went down to my mother's. I entered the house with an invisible sheild, ready to deflect anything. Despite my preparation, I was only met with pleasant welcomes and cheery smiles.

My mother was fine. She had accepted the fact that I spent time with my father, without taking her feelings of abandonment out on me, as she has in the past. As my shoulders slowly let out the tension I was holding there, I relaxed a little more, and was able to completely enjoy myself. My sisters and brother-in-law played hackey sac for a few hours, always a fun thing to do (I'm the 'Hac Master', by the way).

I left right after dinner, no one gave me a hard time about bailing. At this point, I thought my family had been possessed by the Stepford Wives. So amiable. I left to see some friends of mine, a little gathering that was as effortless and easy-flowing and filled with fun and people I love as the rest of my day had been.

Then I went to yet another friend's house, where I hung out with some women I haven't spent time with in months. I stayed till 5am, we were so filled with words for each other.

Good times, good times. I think this is the most successful Thanksgiving I've ever had. And I am so grateful for that. I'm going to try not to expect negativity anymore. Because once I had let go of that, I was figuratively floating.

-Barbarella

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