Sometimes, I wish I had more hair on my body. Today�s little toy, case-in-point. From my office here at work, we have an area that trains and tests people to solder electronic equipment. Yesterday, I discovered this tool they use to put the itsy-bitsy pieces into the teeny-weeny boards. Like forceps with a grip, but down at the end, where the tweezers-like bit is, it�s as sharp as blades.

So, what I end up with, in this tool, is some super-tweezers! There is nothing that these super-sharp, minute-pointed, easy to hold babies couldn�t find and pluck. Some women get their lip waxed. I hardly have any hair on my face to begin with, but I was a good girl, getting the waxing done every now and then, make sure I�m smooth, etc. But now? My God, I�m sitting in the office, on the phone with executives, and obsessively tweezing any little thread-like hair I can find on my face with my little mirror. One, by one, by one. See, these tweezers are so sharp and accurate, the sting is quick and sharp, their aim is true. Some people get waxed because it�s all ripped out in one, quick swoop. But, in some sick way, I�m enjoying the task of yanking them out, one by one, examining each little hair separately on the end of my new super toy. Looking at the root, this itty-bitty thing in its entirety.

I want more. I want to tweeze EVERYTHING. I want to not shave my legs or my armpits ever again, and get each hair, one by one, the separate sting, each pull, it�s own experience. You do know I�m kidding, right? Well, kinda, at least. My eyes no longer water, though, when I tweeze from my face (I know this makes it seem like I�m a hairy girl, but seriously, look at your face; there�s hair all over it, all over your body, it�s just peachy enough not to be obvious).

Anyhoo, I�m in a very good mood today. No particular reason. But I am a tad stressed, seems as if my �94 Corolla is blowing blue smoke. Better get that taken care of, before I blow right off the freeway. I�m a tad bit annoyed right now, my manager just blew a deal that cost me $6500. I�m not a nark by nature, but I just got off the phone with every regional/area manager I know. I hate when people try to help out (in anything) and end up fucking you, indirectly and unintentionally (which means you can�t take it out on them).

Would have been a nice fee. I could have paid off some of that debt (all of the things I lavish myself with, whether or not there�s a balance on my cards already). I�m a live-beyond-my-means sort of gal, always have been. It would be nice to see some success come out of these recent ventures of mine, so I�m not so far off the mark with my personal expenditures. Well, we�ll see about that one. Back to my tweezing.

-Barbarella

previous | next