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2001-02-07

Meditation

I sneezed a hundred times this morning. I thought maybe I was allergic to my new shampoo, but no, my allergies have actually been acting up for the last few days, so it must just be that time of year; time to vacuum. It was much easier for me to wake up this morning than it has been in weeks. I can only attribute that to what I had for dinner (fish and carrots), because it�s not like I went to bed any earlier. Well, now I know! Well-rounded meals mean well-rested Barb. Who knew?

So I�m on the verge of losing another $4500 because of my boss (this is in addition to the $6000 or so lost a few weeks ago). After this, though, she knows not to involve herself in any of my deals (I said �Bad Girl!� and rubbed her nose on the invoice). My goodness, all the things I could have bought. C�est la vie. So here, at work, I really need to put on my Productivity Cap. Because lately, I�ve just had no drive for it. I daydream about an editing job, something I love to do but have no schooling for. All I can say, is thank God it�s Wednesday! Meditation tonight!! I SO need it! All these thoughts just gallivanting and cavorting around in my head, utter chaos in there, I�m telling you. Yeah, I said �utter�, so you KNOW I�m serious.

A good friend of mine, an ex-fuckbuddy, from LA called me yesterday. He just moved into a new house (benefit of landing a role in more commercials, I guess), and wants me to visit soon. He said that in the yard, he found a giant wooden �X�, complete with metal rings nailed into each corner. Gee, wonder what that could have been for. After a little research, he found out that this house was the set to many a porno movie. Right now, he�s in the process of compiling all leftover props to make one particularly �interesting� room. I do believe that is worth a 3-hour drive. We�ll see, though. I wouldn�t be able to make it up for a month, and well, a lot can happen in a month.

I�m just full of thoughts right now. Pensive, pondering, mmm, so many, I love it. My mind will not be bored this week, I can tell right now. As if I�m looking at a treasure chest, and of course, I can�t see what�s inside, because I haven�t yet opened the lid. But, there is a positively radiant glow beaming from every crack in the crate. I�m going to take my time with this one. And cherish each piece of my treasure, each new thing I know is on the way, and regardless of its intention, I�ll greet it with a smile as it pops out of the box and propels itself towards me. You see, most things don�t give much warning. It�s just BOOM, hi! I�m here! And then you have to deal with it accordingly. I like that though, lovely element of surprise, keeps me on my toes.

I smile now, as I am handed a caramel caf� and a lemon biscotti (my coworkers do so spoil me) and put my little stresses about life into perspective. How insignificant things have the ability to play Chinese Fire Drill and end up driving half the time. And how, in moments like these, when someone remembers my favorite coffee, and I�ve had a good sleep, and I feel like there are so many things to look forward to, everything else just seems to dissipate, and I find myself back in the driver�s seat. Oops! Burnt my tongue. Some things never change.

-Barbarella

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2007-05-19
NEW SITE!!!!

2007-05-16
Links and Update

2007-05-09
Two Links

2007-05-06
Yes, Even MORE new pictures

2007-05-06
Mizz Asshole

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Meditation 2001-02-07 15:18:07 I sneezed a hundred times this morning. I thought maybe I was allergic to my new shampoo, but no, my allergies have actually been acting up for the last few days, so it must just be that time of year; time to vacuum. It was much easier for me to wake up this morning than it has been in weeks. I can only attribute that to what I had for dinner (fish and carrots), because it�s not like I went to bed any earlier. Well, now I know! Well-rounded meals mean well-rested Barb. Who knew?

So I�m on the verge of losing another $4500 because of my boss (this is in addition to the $6000 or so lost a few weeks ago). After this, though, she knows not to involve herself in any of my deals (I said �Bad Girl!� and rubbed her nose on the invoice). My goodness, all the things I could have bought. C�est la vie. So here, at work, I really need to put on my Productivity Cap. Because lately, I�ve just had no drive for it. I daydream about an editing job, something I love to do but have no schooling for. All I can say, is thank God it�s Wednesday! Meditation tonight!! I SO need it! All these thoughts just gallivanting and cavorting around in my head, utter chaos in there, I�m telling you. Yeah, I said �utter�, so you KNOW I�m serious.

A good friend of mine, an ex-fuckbuddy, from LA called me yesterday. He just moved into a new house (benefit of landing a role in more commercials, I guess), and wants me to visit soon. He said that in the yard, he found a giant wooden �X�, complete with metal rings nailed into each corner. Gee, wonder what that could have been for. After a little research, he found out that this house was the set to many a porno movie. Right now, he�s in the process of compiling all leftover props to make one particularly �interesting� room. I do believe that is worth a 3-hour drive. We�ll see, though. I wouldn�t be able to make it up for a month, and well, a lot can happen in a month.

I�m just full of thoughts right now. Pensive, pondering, mmm, so many, I love it. My mind will not be bored this week, I can tell right now. As if I�m looking at a treasure chest, and of course, I can�t see what�s inside, because I haven�t yet opened the lid. But, there is a positively radiant glow beaming from every crack in the crate. I�m going to take my time with this one. And cherish each piece of my treasure, each new thing I know is on the way, and regardless of its intention, I�ll greet it with a smile as it pops out of the box and propels itself towards me. You see, most things don�t give much warning. It�s just BOOM, hi! I�m here! And then you have to deal with it accordingly. I like that though, lovely element of surprise, keeps me on my toes.

I smile now, as I am handed a caramel caf� and a lemon biscotti (my coworkers do so spoil me) and put my little stresses about life into perspective. How insignificant things have the ability to play Chinese Fire Drill and end up driving half the time. And how, in moments like these, when someone remembers my favorite coffee, and I�ve had a good sleep, and I feel like there are so many things to look forward to, everything else just seems to dissipate, and I find myself back in the driver�s seat. Oops! Burnt my tongue. Some things never change.