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2001-03-12

Weekend, life, attitude

Another wonderful weekend in the life of me. This one was mellower than most (I can�t believe �mellower� is an actual word, I really thought I was making it up here, but spellchecker let it fly by, hmm). Friday night was beautiful, went with some friends to see Deron�s (a good friend) gallery opening downtown. Wonderful display, and I really was not expecting to see just about every person I know in San Diego there. I loved it. I love seeing people, mingling at functions, bouncing between little crowds and participating in snippets of conversation. What fun. The art, spectacular as always; the people, glowing in so many ways. After that, the crowd migrated to the wine bar, our recent �hangout�, to enjoy its last night of operation and celebrate a few birthdays.

After the wine bar (and I�m so bummed it�s closed now!), I headed home with my thing(s), along with my sister and a first-date of hers. I was planning on getting home, hanging out for a bit, you know, not much. I wasn�t expecting the impromptu after-party that convened within an hour of me being home. Neighbors getting home from clubs and bars, friends stopping by; suddenly my place was a hubbub of activity. We laughed and chatted until about 4:30am, I think. Hard to remember, I wasn�t exactly sober and was quite exhausted. The rest of the weekend? MELLOW. Slept, saw a movie, slept some more. I felt very unaccomplished, lazy weekend and all. But then I rationalized it by thinking to myself, I must have needed that rest. Because I do feel rested, you know. I feel sated. I woke up on time this morning, with a smile on my face, a smile for the day, rather than the usual grimace I have at the notion of getting out of bed against my will. I think I was excited about the new shampoo (freesia, I love that smell).

I got a few things done last night, did the bills, went to the store, hung with the sis, did the laundry. Speaking of laundry, never believe them, no matter how convincing they sound� Lube stains. It does NOT come out in the washing machine. My sheet is ruined. I�ll have to make the bed now, avoid the parents visiting, checking out the room and seeing spots and blotches all over the bed, thinking I�m either incontinent (1st AND 2nd definitions) or having to wonder what it is I�m doing under the covers. Anyhoo, I slept well. I wrote for a bit before falling asleep, always nice to cleanse the mind before resting it. I had some crazy dreams, though. In one, my sister shot me, in another (well, that one�s too disgusting), and yet another, running into people I haven�t seen in years in strange situations. Remind me never to eat right before bed.

So it�s Monday. Monday and all I want is the weekend again, all I want is to pretend that no one exists for a day, turn the phone off, or go out, to be invisible, not run into anyone I know anywhere. I was talking to a friend last night, about people, about things, and she kept asking me questions, kept asking me to clarify what the hell I meant by what I was saying. I realized when I couldn�t find the words that I didn�t even know. And that I have a lot of thinking to do before I start bitching about the world around me. A lot of thinking to do about where I am and where I�m going. But it�s all good. I LOVE to think. Lately, I just want to be a bitch. So unlike me for the most part. But you know the character, Karen, on Will & Grace? The obnoxious, rich, drunken bitch with a great sense of style? Lately, she�s been my idol. To be able to say what�s on your mind without watching every word and measuring it for politeness. How liberating. Too bad I care how people take things. It�s quite a burden to give a shit sometimes, you know. To not care for a day� this is how bad movies start. I can already see the lessons in that one. Okay, I�ll leave it as a fantasy. But you get my drift.

I am extremely misanthropic right now. It�s a shame I�m such a social butterfly. As much as I want to disappear, I know I would go insane without some level of interaction. Maybe I�ll find a happy medium. Maybe I�ll bang my head into the wall while waiting for the answers to come to me. Maybe I�ll be fine, get over my little dramas and live life. I�m sure it�ll be a little bit of each. And fuck it, I�m fine with that.

-Barbarella

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2007-05-19
NEW SITE!!!!

2007-05-16
Links and Update

2007-05-09
Two Links

2007-05-06
Yes, Even MORE new pictures

2007-05-06
Mizz Asshole

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Weekend, life, attitude 2001-03-12 14:13:39 Another wonderful weekend in the life of me. This one was mellower than most (I can�t believe �mellower� is an actual word, I really thought I was making it up here, but spellchecker let it fly by, hmm). Friday night was beautiful, went with some friends to see Deron�s (a good friend) gallery opening downtown. Wonderful display, and I really was not expecting to see just about every person I know in San Diego there. I loved it. I love seeing people, mingling at functions, bouncing between little crowds and participating in snippets of conversation. What fun. The art, spectacular as always; the people, glowing in so many ways. After that, the crowd migrated to the wine bar, our recent �hangout�, to enjoy its last night of operation and celebrate a few birthdays.

After the wine bar (and I�m so bummed it�s closed now!), I headed home with my thing(s), along with my sister and a first-date of hers. I was planning on getting home, hanging out for a bit, you know, not much. I wasn�t expecting the impromptu after-party that convened within an hour of me being home. Neighbors getting home from clubs and bars, friends stopping by; suddenly my place was a hubbub of activity. We laughed and chatted until about 4:30am, I think. Hard to remember, I wasn�t exactly sober and was quite exhausted. The rest of the weekend? MELLOW. Slept, saw a movie, slept some more. I felt very unaccomplished, lazy weekend and all. But then I rationalized it by thinking to myself, I must have needed that rest. Because I do feel rested, you know. I feel sated. I woke up on time this morning, with a smile on my face, a smile for the day, rather than the usual grimace I have at the notion of getting out of bed against my will. I think I was excited about the new shampoo (freesia, I love that smell).

I got a few things done last night, did the bills, went to the store, hung with the sis, did the laundry. Speaking of laundry, never believe them, no matter how convincing they sound� Lube stains. It does NOT come out in the washing machine. My sheet is ruined. I�ll have to make the bed now, avoid the parents visiting, checking out the room and seeing spots and blotches all over the bed, thinking I�m either incontinent (1st AND 2nd definitions) or having to wonder what it is I�m doing under the covers. Anyhoo, I slept well. I wrote for a bit before falling asleep, always nice to cleanse the mind before resting it. I had some crazy dreams, though. In one, my sister shot me, in another (well, that one�s too disgusting), and yet another, running into people I haven�t seen in years in strange situations. Remind me never to eat right before bed.

So it�s Monday. Monday and all I want is the weekend again, all I want is to pretend that no one exists for a day, turn the phone off, or go out, to be invisible, not run into anyone I know anywhere. I was talking to a friend last night, about people, about things, and she kept asking me questions, kept asking me to clarify what the hell I meant by what I was saying. I realized when I couldn�t find the words that I didn�t even know. And that I have a lot of thinking to do before I start bitching about the world around me. A lot of thinking to do about where I am and where I�m going. But it�s all good. I LOVE to think. Lately, I just want to be a bitch. So unlike me for the most part. But you know the character, Karen, on Will & Grace? The obnoxious, rich, drunken bitch with a great sense of style? Lately, she�s been my idol. To be able to say what�s on your mind without watching every word and measuring it for politeness. How liberating. Too bad I care how people take things. It�s quite a burden to give a shit sometimes, you know. To not care for a day� this is how bad movies start. I can already see the lessons in that one. Okay, I�ll leave it as a fantasy. But you get my drift.

I am extremely misanthropic right now. It�s a shame I�m such a social butterfly. As much as I want to disappear, I know I would go insane without some level of interaction. Maybe I�ll find a happy medium. Maybe I�ll bang my head into the wall while waiting for the answers to come to me. Maybe I�ll be fine, get over my little dramas and live life. I�m sure it�ll be a little bit of each. And fuck it, I�m fine with that.