I�m feeling aggro right now. What�s that? Ah, slang. For aggressive. For angry. That rush of energy you get when you want to hit something. Why? Haven�t had my coffee and won�t have time to get it before I interview someone. Poor guy. He�s in for a tough interview. I haven�t met him and I already hate him. We�ll both get over it, I�m sure. I�ve come to the conclusion that I have a knack for bringing out the �freak� in people. Now, the word �freak� is frequently misinterpreted. What I mean by �freak�, is a person�s true nature, how they are or would be without the various masks they don for society�s events. For example, in the workplace, many people wear a corporate or professional mask. Or perhaps just a quiet neutral mask. Especially when they are just starting with a company or in a new office with new people.

It takes me ONE day to uncover someone�s mask. This is my average track record. One day is the maximum time, I�ve done this in a matter of minutes, hours, up to one day. We have a new saleswoman in our office. Beautiful girl, not one wrinkle to be seen on her 3-piece forest green skirt-suit. Not a hair out of place on her salon-worthy head. The epitome of professionalism in speech, appearance, and movement. Enter Barb, stage-left. I don�t remember what it was I said at first, something about a tattoo, I believe. Excitedly, she stood up (we were sitting in my office), turned around, and lifted her shirt to reveal a colorful mythical phoenix, purple and green plumage, pyre of red-oranges and yellow. So I showed her my tribal phoenix, same spot, all black, more like a symbol than a depiction. She was ecstatic that I not only knew what it was and what it stood for, but that I had a tattoo of it in the same spot.

The unleashing of the inner demons: the freak comes out. �Man, I love to compare ink! I designed this you know, it totally represents the power of the woman� it�s addicting, I want more� You saw the Chemical Brothers? Man, I�ve seen �em twice, they put on a KILLER set!� Hmm. This was suddenly a different person, albeit a person I liked, but still different. All it takes for someone to show their true colors (no pun intended � get it? Colors of the tat? Ah, whatever), is to make them feel comfortable. If someone feels comfortable and accepted, the masks melt away; sometimes they don�t even realize it happening, it just does. The psyche says, �We�re safe, relax,� hence the suddenly relaxed language, more animated gesticulations. Now there is camaraderie. Now there is a level in which two people can relate. I am always searching for that level. If I don�t feel like I can relate to someone, at least in SOME way, then I cannot stand to be around them. The failure to create comfort for someone, the failure to jump into THEIR comfort zone and check out the temperature, results in my own DIScomfort. I know, twisted as a red vine, but you know, it�s me.

Luckily, there is always some level that any two people can relate on. And it is my hobby to find that level and sit in it. I mean, consider the alternatives. It never fails to astonish me, how people are content with not getting along, with not trying or wanting to understand another person, see another point of view, a different perspective. It takes much less energy to be agreeable than it does to be uncomfortable. The problem is, we are so used to being uncomfortable, to wearing the masks, to looking through scrutinizing pupils that find a world of people who could never understand us or be understood, that we rarely even consider that odd notion that there might be another way. That if we widened our eyes but for a moment, we would catch something we didn�t see the first time we looked. Something that we recognize in ourselves. And we would relate. And the more you understand someone, the more difficult it becomes to completely separate yourself from that person. And the easier it gets to appreciate them. Wouldn�t it be lovely if humankind were able to look at itself with reverence, awe, and appreciation? Perhaps some things would change, even on a personal level, if we all took a moment and attempted to understand the person next to us.

If we were to do this, one at a time, eventually, it would reach the masses. And the world would stop and shed one collective tear for all of the heinous things it now realizes it has done only to itself. Cherish this idealistic me. Because it will be gone by this afternoon, and replaced with my mask of cynicism and general contempt for people. I call it my Misanthropic Mask. But when it comes down to it, it IS a mask. And truly my dream is to understand everyone, on any level, as long as I taste for a moment the sugary thread of relation. Wouldn�t that be sweet.

-Barbarella

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