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2001-05-16

Tripods and black clouds

It took every mindfucking brain cell I have left to convince my body to get out of bed this morning. You know you�re in trouble when you loathe the day. Trouble, or desperately in need of an attitude adjustment. A perspective change. Luckily for me, I�m pretty easy to mindfuck, I mean it�s what I constantly do anyway, I live in my mind, why not fuck a little while we�re there? Believe it or not, the main reason I did get my ass out of bed was because I knew I had to update yesterday�s obnoxious entry. Can�t leave shit like that sitting out for more than a day, it begins to get stale, you know what I mean? Yeah, you do.

I had a suprisingly lovely evening last night, accompanied a great friend (one of my S�s) to take pictures of the spot where she got a $300 ticket last Friday. What is up with this quota, coppers? Hmm? Oh, but that�s a whole nother story (I�m trying to coin the phrase in writing, �whole nother�, because as of now, �nother� is not recognized as a word in the dictionary� let�s see if I can do it). I�ve gotten more tickets than I can count in my day. BUT, I�ve also talked my way out of quite a few. The art of tongue, my dears, the art of tongue. Interpret that as you will. But I digress. We ended up having dinner downtown, and a wonderful time with tasty food and hearty laughs. I think I expelled all of my sarcasm by the end of the night, and how I must have need to get that out!

So why the mood, Barb, why this black cloud over your head? I�m fine. You know, I usually speak about a shifting of the tripod. Let me explain this. We all live on an invisible tripod, and the legs are Family, Professional, and Personal (includes relationships and a thousand other things, health, etc.). Sometimes, when one of those legs is shaky, you have the other two to fall back on. Twice in my life that I can remember, all three of my legs went out from under me at the same time. And I was left, stranded and desolate for about 3 months each time. When you go through a major life-shift or change, when everything in every aspect around you is shit, it usually lasts for about 3 months. BUT, when those 3 months are over, and you get back on your invisible tripod, the legs are taller. They�ve been built up from the base with raw materials such as strength, experience, perseverance, faith, whatever you used. Your spirit has grown, and everything is wonderful, and after the last 3 months, you now know to truly appreciate this higher view.

Right now, my Professional leg is wobbly. And what did I do? I freaked out, like I did those two times when ALL of my legs crashed beneath me. I got so caught up trying to hold Professional in place, I�ve used all my energy, I have a stomachache, I�m exhausted. I forgot that all I need to do is lean back on my haunches, where there is support, and really look to see where the splinter is so that I know how to start fixing it and bring it up to the same height as my other 2 legs right now. Does this sound like jibberish? It�s making complete sense to me, oh sweet catharsis. I didn�t mean to obfuscate. Let�s just put it this way: I can�t let this limp keep me from finishing the race. I can�t let one bad thing in my life keep me from enjoying all of the wonderful things. I can�t. What a fucking waste that would be.

I�ll handle this, and I�ll be fine. I�ll get over my head-trauma, my incessant �Oh my God�s�, my back-of-the-mind stresses. And while I�m living and enjoying life, everything will just come to be. Sounds good, doesn�t it? I know, see what I mean? Mindfucking. You really ought to try it some time. Because sometimes, it works. The more I do it right now, the easier it will be for me to get out of bed tomorrow and smell the flowers despite the shit on the grass. It�s all about where you choose to focus and aim your olfactory glands. Ahem� that�s a metaphor, by the way. This melodramatic bitch is gonna be fine.

Holy Shit and talk about coincidence. I was done with this entry, but couldn�t post it yet (diaryland down??) and decided to check my horoscope. How�s THIS for synchronicity? Yahoo and the stars say: You might have a hard time focusing today. You might feel that there is a black cloud around you that wraps you in darkness. Don't worry, this is caused by the current Moon-Pluto square. The best would be to take a time-out. Put your projects down and step back from them for a while. It is important for you to see the overall view of the situation. It could be that you have focused on the details for so long that you have missed an important part of the picture that is only seen by looking at it from a distance.

See how intuned I am? I know, I know. It�s crazy.

-Barbarella

previous | next

2007-05-19
NEW SITE!!!!

2007-05-16
Links and Update

2007-05-09
Two Links

2007-05-06
Yes, Even MORE new pictures

2007-05-06
Mizz Asshole

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Tripods and black clouds 2001-05-16 9:25 a.m. It took every mindfucking brain cell I have left to convince my body to get out of bed this morning. You know you�re in trouble when you loathe the day. Trouble, or desperately in need of an attitude adjustment. A perspective change. Luckily for me, I�m pretty easy to mindfuck, I mean it�s what I constantly do anyway, I live in my mind, why not fuck a little while we�re there? Believe it or not, the main reason I did get my ass out of bed was because I knew I had to update yesterday�s obnoxious entry. Can�t leave shit like that sitting out for more than a day, it begins to get stale, you know what I mean? Yeah, you do.

I had a suprisingly lovely evening last night, accompanied a great friend (one of my S�s) to take pictures of the spot where she got a $300 ticket last Friday. What is up with this quota, coppers? Hmm? Oh, but that�s a whole nother story (I�m trying to coin the phrase in writing, �whole nother�, because as of now, �nother� is not recognized as a word in the dictionary� let�s see if I can do it). I�ve gotten more tickets than I can count in my day. BUT, I�ve also talked my way out of quite a few. The art of tongue, my dears, the art of tongue. Interpret that as you will. But I digress. We ended up having dinner downtown, and a wonderful time with tasty food and hearty laughs. I think I expelled all of my sarcasm by the end of the night, and how I must have need to get that out!

So why the mood, Barb, why this black cloud over your head? I�m fine. You know, I usually speak about a shifting of the tripod. Let me explain this. We all live on an invisible tripod, and the legs are Family, Professional, and Personal (includes relationships and a thousand other things, health, etc.). Sometimes, when one of those legs is shaky, you have the other two to fall back on. Twice in my life that I can remember, all three of my legs went out from under me at the same time. And I was left, stranded and desolate for about 3 months each time. When you go through a major life-shift or change, when everything in every aspect around you is shit, it usually lasts for about 3 months. BUT, when those 3 months are over, and you get back on your invisible tripod, the legs are taller. They�ve been built up from the base with raw materials such as strength, experience, perseverance, faith, whatever you used. Your spirit has grown, and everything is wonderful, and after the last 3 months, you now know to truly appreciate this higher view.

Right now, my Professional leg is wobbly. And what did I do? I freaked out, like I did those two times when ALL of my legs crashed beneath me. I got so caught up trying to hold Professional in place, I�ve used all my energy, I have a stomachache, I�m exhausted. I forgot that all I need to do is lean back on my haunches, where there is support, and really look to see where the splinter is so that I know how to start fixing it and bring it up to the same height as my other 2 legs right now. Does this sound like jibberish? It�s making complete sense to me, oh sweet catharsis. I didn�t mean to obfuscate. Let�s just put it this way: I can�t let this limp keep me from finishing the race. I can�t let one bad thing in my life keep me from enjoying all of the wonderful things. I can�t. What a fucking waste that would be.

I�ll handle this, and I�ll be fine. I�ll get over my head-trauma, my incessant �Oh my God�s�, my back-of-the-mind stresses. And while I�m living and enjoying life, everything will just come to be. Sounds good, doesn�t it? I know, see what I mean? Mindfucking. You really ought to try it some time. Because sometimes, it works. The more I do it right now, the easier it will be for me to get out of bed tomorrow and smell the flowers despite the shit on the grass. It�s all about where you choose to focus and aim your olfactory glands. Ahem� that�s a metaphor, by the way. This melodramatic bitch is gonna be fine.

Holy Shit and talk about coincidence. I was done with this entry, but couldn�t post it yet (diaryland down??) and decided to check my horoscope. How�s THIS for synchronicity? Yahoo and the stars say: You might have a hard time focusing today. You might feel that there is a black cloud around you that wraps you in darkness. Don't worry, this is caused by the current Moon-Pluto square. The best would be to take a time-out. Put your projects down and step back from them for a while. It is important for you to see the overall view of the situation. It could be that you have focused on the details for so long that you have missed an important part of the picture that is only seen by looking at it from a distance.

See how intuned I am? I know, I know. It�s crazy.