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2001-05-21

Polygamy

Alright, I�m having issues. There is a man on trial in Utah for bigamy, he has 5 wives and 25 children, and surprise! He�s a Mormon. To each his own, right? Culture and religion can differ, and thinking that my beliefs are �better� or �more valid� is only ethnocentricity, and my words fall on the deaf ears of the ACLU. But there HAS to be at least a basic universal morality! In this day and age, with all that we know, there HAS to be some common ground underneath all of our feet, that degree of psychological HEALTH and definition of GOOD and RIGHT and NOW. I realize now that what I have to say is impossible to articulate without opposition. I can tell you right now what they�ll say, though. �We are adults, we know what we�re doing, this is what we want and we are happy this way and who are you to question that?� Perhaps they have a point. But so do I.

I have friends in �open� relationships, friends who explore sexually, mentally and emotionally with people other than their significant mate. Is there anything wrong with that? No, not if they are truly in love and share HONEST communication about their boundaries and their wants and desires. Is it walking a fine line? Most of the time, I think so. There�s this guy I know (or hardly know) who lives with 3 women (I think it�s 3), and they are in a polygamous relationship. Two of these girls are very young, one isn�t even 21 yet. I disagree with this set-up. Every time I�ve seen the young girl, her body language SCREAMS insecurity. Do I think that it�s possible for 4 people to truly and genuinely be happy with this situation? Yes. But ONLY if those people are ALL emotionally mature, true to themselves, and honest with how they feel. I only know a handful, no, not even that much, of people who fit that description.

When I went to LA, a married man was hitting on me. His wife was there, and she told me to �go for it, keep him busy, I need a break.� She meant it. They were older, mature, and secure in their relationship, and she honestly didn�t mind or feel threatened or left-out or jealous when her husband gave me a foot massage. Because of their confidence in each other, and their obvious agreement, I didn�t feel awkward allowing him to fawn over me. Did I fuck him? No. He�s married. Regardless of what their established boundaries may be, I also have mine, and not fucking married men is one of my little rules. I know what my rules are. I go where I feel comfortable, physically, emotionally, morally. And I stay away from where I don�t.

This guy with these wives, they are young. He married them as teens. He�s some old telemarketer with 5 women to wait on him hand and foot. If these women were educated, more worldly, or even just the least bit more sure of themselves, who they are, I mean really, not who they think they are or who God supposedly says they must be, but if they really KNEW THEMSELVES, I believe they would hightail it out of this scenario. I see a man taking advantage and women looking for love and affection wherever and however they can get it. I hope this guy gets arrested. I hope he goes to jail. And then, I hope that these women are jarred out of their happy little ignorant cocoon, I hope they question their God and how he could leave them in this predicament, I hope they question everything. And I hope, I truly hope, that they find their answers from within themselves.

Why do I feel so strongly about this? I think it�s fun to experiment and have fun while you�re young, find out through experience what it is you like, what it is you don�t like. But when you choose to love someone (and it is ALWAYS a choice, it doesn�t just �happen�, love is a VERB)� I don�t know how to articulate this. Let�s put it this way: whenever I see myself as an old woman, the few times I wonder where I�ll be, how much I will have learned, seen, experienced � I don�t see myself with a man who needs the kind of security that only comes with adoration from many instead of one. I see myself with a man who beams and glows with the reflection of the love he receives from me. And that is enough. These people who need more, think they are entitled to more, however they rationalize it -- religion, hippy/love movement, I�m sure they can come up with more excuses than I can � it�s still NEEDING MORE. And in my opinion, people who always need more, will never ever be satisfied with anything or anyONE.

And because I am so adamant about not getting stuck with someone who is so needy, I tend to quickly jump to conclusions about those who are just having fun. Fun is fun, and fun is fine. I don�t judge that. It�s not knowing when to say, �okay, enough fun for now,� that has me raising a brow. These wives of this bigamist, I don�t think they know what �fun� is. They�re servants who worship their man. If they�re happy in that, then fine. But I say, give them a choice. And in order to make ANY wise decision, you must know both sides thoroughly before you can choose one over the other. I think it�s sad that they don�t know. I think it�s presumptuous of me to assume they don�t know. But you know what? I�d bet money that I�m right.

Fuckin� Mormons.

-Barbarella

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2007-05-19
NEW SITE!!!!

2007-05-16
Links and Update

2007-05-09
Two Links

2007-05-06
Yes, Even MORE new pictures

2007-05-06
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Polygamy 2001-05-21 9:53 a.m. Alright, I�m having issues. There is a man on trial in Utah for bigamy, he has 5 wives and 25 children, and surprise! He�s a Mormon. To each his own, right? Culture and religion can differ, and thinking that my beliefs are �better� or �more valid� is only ethnocentricity, and my words fall on the deaf ears of the ACLU. But there HAS to be at least a basic universal morality! In this day and age, with all that we know, there HAS to be some common ground underneath all of our feet, that degree of psychological HEALTH and definition of GOOD and RIGHT and NOW. I realize now that what I have to say is impossible to articulate without opposition. I can tell you right now what they�ll say, though. �We are adults, we know what we�re doing, this is what we want and we are happy this way and who are you to question that?� Perhaps they have a point. But so do I.

I have friends in �open� relationships, friends who explore sexually, mentally and emotionally with people other than their significant mate. Is there anything wrong with that? No, not if they are truly in love and share HONEST communication about their boundaries and their wants and desires. Is it walking a fine line? Most of the time, I think so. There�s this guy I know (or hardly know) who lives with 3 women (I think it�s 3), and they are in a polygamous relationship. Two of these girls are very young, one isn�t even 21 yet. I disagree with this set-up. Every time I�ve seen the young girl, her body language SCREAMS insecurity. Do I think that it�s possible for 4 people to truly and genuinely be happy with this situation? Yes. But ONLY if those people are ALL emotionally mature, true to themselves, and honest with how they feel. I only know a handful, no, not even that much, of people who fit that description.

When I went to LA, a married man was hitting on me. His wife was there, and she told me to �go for it, keep him busy, I need a break.� She meant it. They were older, mature, and secure in their relationship, and she honestly didn�t mind or feel threatened or left-out or jealous when her husband gave me a foot massage. Because of their confidence in each other, and their obvious agreement, I didn�t feel awkward allowing him to fawn over me. Did I fuck him? No. He�s married. Regardless of what their established boundaries may be, I also have mine, and not fucking married men is one of my little rules. I know what my rules are. I go where I feel comfortable, physically, emotionally, morally. And I stay away from where I don�t.

This guy with these wives, they are young. He married them as teens. He�s some old telemarketer with 5 women to wait on him hand and foot. If these women were educated, more worldly, or even just the least bit more sure of themselves, who they are, I mean really, not who they think they are or who God supposedly says they must be, but if they really KNEW THEMSELVES, I believe they would hightail it out of this scenario. I see a man taking advantage and women looking for love and affection wherever and however they can get it. I hope this guy gets arrested. I hope he goes to jail. And then, I hope that these women are jarred out of their happy little ignorant cocoon, I hope they question their God and how he could leave them in this predicament, I hope they question everything. And I hope, I truly hope, that they find their answers from within themselves.

Why do I feel so strongly about this? I think it�s fun to experiment and have fun while you�re young, find out through experience what it is you like, what it is you don�t like. But when you choose to love someone (and it is ALWAYS a choice, it doesn�t just �happen�, love is a VERB)� I don�t know how to articulate this. Let�s put it this way: whenever I see myself as an old woman, the few times I wonder where I�ll be, how much I will have learned, seen, experienced � I don�t see myself with a man who needs the kind of security that only comes with adoration from many instead of one. I see myself with a man who beams and glows with the reflection of the love he receives from me. And that is enough. These people who need more, think they are entitled to more, however they rationalize it -- religion, hippy/love movement, I�m sure they can come up with more excuses than I can � it�s still NEEDING MORE. And in my opinion, people who always need more, will never ever be satisfied with anything or anyONE.

And because I am so adamant about not getting stuck with someone who is so needy, I tend to quickly jump to conclusions about those who are just having fun. Fun is fun, and fun is fine. I don�t judge that. It�s not knowing when to say, �okay, enough fun for now,� that has me raising a brow. These wives of this bigamist, I don�t think they know what �fun� is. They�re servants who worship their man. If they�re happy in that, then fine. But I say, give them a choice. And in order to make ANY wise decision, you must know both sides thoroughly before you can choose one over the other. I think it�s sad that they don�t know. I think it�s presumptuous of me to assume they don�t know. But you know what? I�d bet money that I�m right.

Fuckin� Mormons.