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2001-08-24

Operation Observation

Man, I have been drinking WAY too much soda. This entire week, no Aquafina bottle, so I�ve just been sucking up the soda like crazy. The only thing that sucks about this new office, is there is no market anywhere within walking distance, and my hydration is suffering as a result! See, I only drink water out of an Aquafina bottle, and well, I haven�t had a chance to get one this week. So basically, I�m fucked and my teeth are hurting from all of that stuff that kills those plants in those experiments they do with soda to prove how bad it is for you. Nice.

Had a great time last night! Shit, when do I NOT have a great time? It�s a rare occasion indeed, that Barbarella has an icky evening. Happens, but it�s rare. So my sister has been on a few dates with this fireman, and he�s very nice, very chivalrous, all of the above, yadda yadda. Because of all those wonderful qualities he has, she just couldn�t figure out what it was about him that she DIDN�T like. But she knew she didn�t like him. So she called in the brigade to help her figure it out, help her pinpoint the source of anti-attraction. Does she really like him and is seeking out flaws so as to sabotage any possible happiness? Does she not like him for a shallow or unjustified reason? She needed to know. She needed the opinions of experts.

So in we came, looking every bit the part. Kitty with her wet hair and sweats, emanating strong-salon hair color scent from her scalp and dripping black & purple hair coloring (hey, she�s mutli-task oriented, okay? It was feel out the fireman, socialize, and color my hair time for her). Me, dressed to kill (in other words, I didn�t get a chance to change out of my work outfit) and more than ready to, if the need should arise. To kill, that is. Cyrano, spiffy from his schmooz-networking party, eyes narrowed as soon as he walked through the door, ready to scrutinize, observe, and report. Oh, yeah, we were like the fucking mod squad for detecting vibes.

We got half a game of Balderdash out of the way (I never could keep my attention span through an entire game of that), half a bottle of liquor (or a whole bottle, if you count JD), and lots of chicken talk. Then, there was Madonna. Kitty on one side of the room, Cyrano on the other, facing each other, me, Jen, and fireman as an audience, and the dancing began. And the stripping started. And for a moment, I really did think we were about to meet Cyrano�s namesake. Fireman was very relieved to see those khaki pants pulled back up and over Calvin Klein�s embroidered name. He left shortly after that. And the decision was unanimous. Clipped! Trust me, he�s not my sister�s type. She requires someone to be on edge, sarcastic, able to sit and amuse himself with a rubberband for an hour if necessary (wondering what could bring us to that being �necessary�? There�s a time for EVERYTHING, trust me). This guy was not it. He was NICE. No edge, no sarcasm, no biting wit. He could never handle the four of us, my sisters and me, and that's just crucial. You don't have to "get it", but you do have to really want to. One afternoon with us and he would be running the other way, whimpering. Just nice, just there. It would never last.

We speculated, talked, analyzed, and shot the shit for a bit, at least until bedtime (as if there really is a bedtime in my life, I think that�s the only thing I play by ear). Cyrano slept on the couch, and didn�t even flinch or budge as I flittered around the place this morning, humming to myself, talking to my cats (oh, those girls) and basically any other household item that would hear me out. So nice, so nice. Speaking of nice! Do you even KNOW what is happening to me this weekend? The kind of SERIOUS TROUBLE I am going to get into? Our boys are coming down from LA tomorrow. I mean, like, all of them. Africa Dick, Comedian, Ktut, Kitty�s toy Kenny, and maybe even Tour Manager. What am I going to do with all that penis? Shit, better come up with a plan. But my, my are we excited! And tonight, friend of Kitty�s is down who wants to take her and any of her friends on an evening downtown, complete with Limo chauffeur. I don�t think there�s enough space on this site to document the craziness and adventure that this weekend holds in store for us.

Just a side note here: I�m really missing my Dad this morning. I sent him a funny email (because I�m fucking hilarious, that�s why) with an update on all of his daughters, because I know it must be shitty, stuck in Korea for 3 weeks, working 12-24 hours a day in a small lab with a bunch of Navy guys. I haven�t heard from him in days, which is odd, so I�m just a LITTLE worried. You know, the rains, and there�s also the snipers that watch the bridge he has to cross every day. He signed a waiver admitting his knowledge of the risk it is just to show up every day. So yeah, I�d like to hear what he�s up to. I�m sure he�s fine, and it�s a good thing he�s not going to be around THIS weekend. I couldn�t chance him taking a walk by my place at any time over the next few days. Hee hee.

Good times ahead, my lovelies. Stay tuned, if you think you can handle it.

-Barbarella

previous | next

2007-05-19
NEW SITE!!!!

2007-05-16
Links and Update

2007-05-09
Two Links

2007-05-06
Yes, Even MORE new pictures

2007-05-06
Mizz Asshole

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Operation Observation 2001-08-24 9:36 a.m. Man, I have been drinking WAY too much soda. This entire week, no Aquafina bottle, so I�ve just been sucking up the soda like crazy. The only thing that sucks about this new office, is there is no market anywhere within walking distance, and my hydration is suffering as a result! See, I only drink water out of an Aquafina bottle, and well, I haven�t had a chance to get one this week. So basically, I�m fucked and my teeth are hurting from all of that stuff that kills those plants in those experiments they do with soda to prove how bad it is for you. Nice.

Had a great time last night! Shit, when do I NOT have a great time? It�s a rare occasion indeed, that Barbarella has an icky evening. Happens, but it�s rare. So my sister has been on a few dates with this fireman, and he�s very nice, very chivalrous, all of the above, yadda yadda. Because of all those wonderful qualities he has, she just couldn�t figure out what it was about him that she DIDN�T like. But she knew she didn�t like him. So she called in the brigade to help her figure it out, help her pinpoint the source of anti-attraction. Does she really like him and is seeking out flaws so as to sabotage any possible happiness? Does she not like him for a shallow or unjustified reason? She needed to know. She needed the opinions of experts.

So in we came, looking every bit the part. Kitty with her wet hair and sweats, emanating strong-salon hair color scent from her scalp and dripping black & purple hair coloring (hey, she�s mutli-task oriented, okay? It was feel out the fireman, socialize, and color my hair time for her). Me, dressed to kill (in other words, I didn�t get a chance to change out of my work outfit) and more than ready to, if the need should arise. To kill, that is. Cyrano, spiffy from his schmooz-networking party, eyes narrowed as soon as he walked through the door, ready to scrutinize, observe, and report. Oh, yeah, we were like the fucking mod squad for detecting vibes.

We got half a game of Balderdash out of the way (I never could keep my attention span through an entire game of that), half a bottle of liquor (or a whole bottle, if you count JD), and lots of chicken talk. Then, there was Madonna. Kitty on one side of the room, Cyrano on the other, facing each other, me, Jen, and fireman as an audience, and the dancing began. And the stripping started. And for a moment, I really did think we were about to meet Cyrano�s namesake. Fireman was very relieved to see those khaki pants pulled back up and over Calvin Klein�s embroidered name. He left shortly after that. And the decision was unanimous. Clipped! Trust me, he�s not my sister�s type. She requires someone to be on edge, sarcastic, able to sit and amuse himself with a rubberband for an hour if necessary (wondering what could bring us to that being �necessary�? There�s a time for EVERYTHING, trust me). This guy was not it. He was NICE. No edge, no sarcasm, no biting wit. He could never handle the four of us, my sisters and me, and that's just crucial. You don't have to "get it", but you do have to really want to. One afternoon with us and he would be running the other way, whimpering. Just nice, just there. It would never last.

We speculated, talked, analyzed, and shot the shit for a bit, at least until bedtime (as if there really is a bedtime in my life, I think that�s the only thing I play by ear). Cyrano slept on the couch, and didn�t even flinch or budge as I flittered around the place this morning, humming to myself, talking to my cats (oh, those girls) and basically any other household item that would hear me out. So nice, so nice. Speaking of nice! Do you even KNOW what is happening to me this weekend? The kind of SERIOUS TROUBLE I am going to get into? Our boys are coming down from LA tomorrow. I mean, like, all of them. Africa Dick, Comedian, Ktut, Kitty�s toy Kenny, and maybe even Tour Manager. What am I going to do with all that penis? Shit, better come up with a plan. But my, my are we excited! And tonight, friend of Kitty�s is down who wants to take her and any of her friends on an evening downtown, complete with Limo chauffeur. I don�t think there�s enough space on this site to document the craziness and adventure that this weekend holds in store for us.

Just a side note here: I�m really missing my Dad this morning. I sent him a funny email (because I�m fucking hilarious, that�s why) with an update on all of his daughters, because I know it must be shitty, stuck in Korea for 3 weeks, working 12-24 hours a day in a small lab with a bunch of Navy guys. I haven�t heard from him in days, which is odd, so I�m just a LITTLE worried. You know, the rains, and there�s also the snipers that watch the bridge he has to cross every day. He signed a waiver admitting his knowledge of the risk it is just to show up every day. So yeah, I�d like to hear what he�s up to. I�m sure he�s fine, and it�s a good thing he�s not going to be around THIS weekend. I couldn�t chance him taking a walk by my place at any time over the next few days. Hee hee.

Good times ahead, my lovelies. Stay tuned, if you think you can handle it.