Sigh, I fancifully await the weekend that keeps me at home for a few days, reading, relaxing, being lazy and antisocial. But, until that weekend comes, I will still be booked socially, and partying my patooty off (I guess you can consider that a Barbarism, though I swear I�ve heard the word �patooty� before). This weekend seemed much longer than last week�s 3-day weekend. Probably because I shoved many more events into those tiny few days. Let�s go over them, shall we? There won�t be a test, but expect a pop quiz in the form of water in a bucket. Don�t ask, I�m a little out of it this morning.

Anyhoo, Friday night: Street Scene. If you do not know what this is, go to your browser, and type in Street Scene and San Diego, or something like that. Check out the lineup. I know, crazy, right? 311, Cake, Counting Crows, James Brown, En Vogue, and at least 30 more bands playing over 3 days. So Friday, Cyrano joined me and my girls, and we headed downtown. The crowd was awful. Thousands of people, shoulder to shoulder in the streets, the smell of cheap beer on almost everyone�s breath, like a dirty, mean mob. We went immediately to the gallery, where I got to see some friends I haven�t seen in quite awhile. We didn�t stay long, stopped by Aubergene, a swanky downtown club, saw some more old, familiar faces. It�s been so long since I�ve seen that crowd! I�m ecstatic that they�re coming to my party, those same wonderful people who hosted my birthday party only a year ago.

After downtown, we stopped by an after-party, saw even more old, familiar faces, and then headed back to Pixie�s for the wind-down. Jenny came over, and we all hung out and talked until it was time to go home and crash. Which I did beautifully, I might add. Saturday, oh how I love that word. Heather and Jane (older sisters, remember?) took me to Mom�s to go out to lunch with her and the boys (my cousin & his friend). Oh, I have an announcement! Heather found out on Friday that she is having a boy! Liam will be his name, what he gets for having parents with so much Irish blood in them. It just made it all so REAL. My sister is having a baby. And she even LOOKED pregnant, with her belly out so much farther than last month when I saw her. That glow. You know that glow, the shiny hair, the clear skin, it�s all from hormones, baby. Or I guess I could say it�s all from baby hormones. Ha! Me so funny.

Saturday night, my girls, burned out and tired, stayed at home and I went to Street Scene again. I HAD to go, it was Fizgig�s birthday and I just felt like going out again, seeing people, I mean, I�d spent all that time on my hair, after all, and I NEVER let a good makeup job go to waste. Couldn�t just sit at home with music and my mirror now, could I? So down I went, hours earlier than I was supposed to meet up with anyone, wanting to walk around alone, do my own thing. But the problem is, you can hardly walk there. You push, you wait, you apologize and smile as people push past you, but you cannot just simply walk, dammit! I kept the gallery as my �home-base� and would stop by there for a glass of wine between those obnoxious treks through the crowd. Finally, I gave up and just hung at the gallery. Saw some folks back from Burning Man, had a lovely, pulpy conversation with B-Love, ran into Jane and her crew (I�m surprised my sister went down there, but awesome to see her and get to introduce her and her husband to some of my friends). And then, I left, hitching a ride with V-man and the friend he was trying to set me up with. We dropped off the friend, and V-man and I headed over to Kitty�s, where she and Comedian had been hanging out for the day, partying into the night.

My, my, my, what to say here. Hmm. I will tell you that Viagra DOES work for women. I don�t know what was up with my little combination, lotsa wine (I was pretty much drunk, a rarity for me, when I got there). That little blue pill, and a few hours of hanging out, hmmm. Jen stopped by for a bit. I�m happy she left when she did, and I don�t want to go into much detail here (you never can tell who has access to reading this shit), so I�ll try to sum it up for you. Me, no control, 4 orgasms and an audience. That�s ALL you need to know. I was humiliated at my lack of control, but Kitty, Comedian, and V-man all reassured me that the �incident� (what I�d like to call it) was as pleasurable for them as it was for me. Gotta love those all-accepting friends. Maybe next time I�ll push the mark and shit on her floor, let�s see what they think about THAT! Just kidding, c�mon, even if my mind has no control over my body, that�s something my body would NEVER do. After all, I am a lady. Filthy, naughty lady, yes, but lady nonetheless.

Moving along, come with me here, don�t dawdle back there with that shocking behavior! The weather is misty and dark and wet today. I love that. It puts a giant smile on my face, makes me feel comfortable for some reason. The week at work will be hard, if anything. I need to really figure out what the hell I�m doing professionally if I�m ever going to crawl out of this stress-hole. More rsvp�s to my birthday party, and the excitement builds as I hear talk of cameo appearances to surprise the crowd, of plans people have, things they want to do. Although I believe I reached the peak of excitement for my entire LIFE at Kitty�s, I still know it�s going to be a fucking balls-out great time. Right, right. Can�t wait. And AFTER that, I will rest, after this social creation of mine, as did God on the 7th day. Oh yeah, I went there. You think YOU have an ego? I just put myself in the same category as GOD. And the wonderful thing about it, is you can�t tell if I�m joking or not.

-Barbarella

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