Alright, I�m sitting here at my computer, supposedly to look for work online, see what �jobs� are out there, and all I hear this weirdo hum-chant thing coming from the apartment next door. It sounds like it�s been repeating the same line for the last hour. Should I go over there? Ah, fuck it. Of course, as soon as I type something it decides to stop. I thought Halloween was supposed to be tomorrow.

Let me tell you something about trying to find a job online. For the last 3 years, I�ve been a recruiter for staffing agencies. Oh yeah, I used the internet occasionally to pull resumes, but here�s the odd thing: if I posted a job to find people who were qualified for THAT job, I would get a hundred a day who didn�t match up and end up doing my own search anyway, and most of those email responses for the posted job went unanswered. That�s the industry. I�m so jaded and aware that if you want to get a job, the internet is your least likely bet. I�m gonna try anyway, but I�ll tell you this (and the reason this is on my mind today is because my friend, Cyrano is going through the same fucking frustrating thing): of all the surveys taken of all the companies in downtown LA and San Diego, the largest percentage of answers of the question, �Through what method have you hired the last few employees?� is �Referral.�

Networking. This is what I think of when I refer to this (and no, I haven�t been working on my networking too much lately, this is harder than it looks): has anyone seen the movie the Last Unicorn? Please say �yes�. Okay, great, we�re all on the same page. Bear with me, I�m about to stretch farther than I�ve ever stretched before to make an analogy, call it a habit of mine, finding the most random analogies that make the most sense to ME. Here we go:

In the animated film, a Red Bull (anonymity) has driven all of the unicorns in the world to the end of the earth, where they are doomed to exist in the ocean, rise and fall with the waves, the same motions, never getting anywhere. The ocean is the internet job market. They�re in there, floating, some swimming harder than others, but never quite getting to shore. Then, there�s the Last Unicorn, the one who never lost her job to begin with, but decides to go on a journey, which eventually leaves her unemployed for awhile. She chooses to seek out the king, thus eliminating that middleman of anonymity, the Red Bull. I know you�re lost, bear with me, it might make more sense in a sec.

She solves riddles, hits the pavement and doesn�t give up until she is in front of the decision maker to plead her case. That�s what a recruiter does for all of the people floating around in the job market. Because we KNOW it�s a miracle for one, qualified or not, to be randomly plucked out of that ocean. I was on the phone, at the door, finding out who is doing the actual hiring, who�s input is the most important, and what do they want in an employee? Now, I feel like the Last Unicorn, and I know what it is I must do, but the ocean seems so simple, so free of the possibility of rejection and failure, just to float there with so many unicorns in the same �boat�.

But I�ve done this floating thing before, and I�m telling you, as easy as it is to float, there�s always the risk of drowning. Basically, what I�m trying to say with all of this random shit, is that it�s time for me to strap on some horseshoes and find King Haggard, because only he knows how to defeat the Red Bull, and if I�m ever going to live alone again, if I�m going to get in front of a decision maker, a person to sell myself to as an employee, the Red Bull must be defeated.

And no, watching the movie probably won�t help you figure out all that randomness. But I�m telling you, as poorly as I may have explained it, I think I just had a little fucking epiphany. It�s scary, not knowing where you�re next paycheck is coming from. So any way that you are able to take control, any way that you can feel as if you can steer in the right direction, well, you fucking grasp it and hold on for dear life, like a lifesaver. That�s all.

-Barbarella

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