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2001-12-06

You've GOT to be Kidding Me

Oh my God, tonight was fucking COMEDY. I mean, really people. I�m writing before I go to sleep because honestly, I�m afraid that by morning, I might forget even a smidgeon of the silliness that occurred this evening. Or the absurdity. But, as always, I had fun! First, a quote, to let you know where I stand:

�Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.� -- Aristotle, philosopher (384-322 BCE)

Alright, then. Let�s get this party started. First of all, I LOVE my cell phone, and it�s only been a day. I�ll adjust slowly, it�s just that the vibrator in it is SO strong! Ah yes, back to my story: We went to dinner. Kitty, her new roommate-to-be and me. Cuban restaurant, a bit overpriced, but quite delectable nonetheless. Once I worked through my planning-meeting-up-with-people stresses, I was able to kick back and laugh at Kitty and� I just realized I need a name for this guy, he�ll be around� let�s call him Smitty. After dinner, dropped off Smitty and went home to help the sis get ready for the big evening. I�m not one for downtown, but it�s Jen�s friend�s birthday, and that�s where the girls wanted to go, so there we went. Moose McGillicutty�s (I don�t care if it�s spelled wrong). Last time I went to this cheesy fucking meat market was 3 years ago with Halcyon and some older woman tried to pick us both up. I remembered not digging on the crowd or the atmosphere, but Kitty was down to join me in a new adventure, and we put our �adaptable-blend� hats on and strutted our shit right into that skank-hole.

I�m sure we�re all familiar with the muppets, yes? Do you remember the two old cronies who sat off to the side and heckled everyone throughout every show? Well, that would describe Kitty and me this evening. The men were scoping, the women were drunk and stupid, some old folks scattered about, lurking and watching, a woman who had to be in her mid-forties, sizeable lady, danced in front on stage the entire time, looking like a crack-whore who was trying ecstasy for the first time. It was bad. We were game. At first, the crowd BUGGED. We pushed our way through and held our own until we found the perfect spot � off to the side, enough room to dance, but not on the dance floor, we were good. And then, the men came. My God, the men. What the fuck is wrong with you penises? I�ve never had a guy friend who acted as obnoxious, desperate and pushy as these fuckers. And yes, Barbarella came through with some good examples for you. Let�s get to it, then.

This one guy kept asking me to dance all night. I�d say no, he�d come back, �C�mon, just one dance, what�s wrong with that? I can�t have just one dance?� At first, I was nice. I asked for his name, told him I didn�t want to go to the floor, but he was welcome to join us off to the side. He kept asking until I simply turned my back to him and he walked away. This happened at least 3 times. Then, he came up to me a fourth time. And he said, �We can dance right here, but I want to dance WITH you,� and he kept grabbing at my hands. �They�re just in your pockets, what�s the big deal, bring �em out and dance!� Losing my patience, I said, �My hands are quite happy where they are, thank you, and I don�t mind you standing here with us, Joey (I�m good like that, I remember names, gets �em every time), but do not touch me.� You�d think he�d get the fucking hint, right? NO! This ass-fuck comes back yet ANOTHER time, same shit, with some pouty face on, and I said, �Listen, don�t fucking pout, do not take this personally, do you see anyone else touching me? No. So do not fucking touch me, it�s simple enough, I think I�m being pretty fucking fair.�

He walked away. As we left the club, he tried to physically pull me off to the side, said he needed to tell me something. I brushed his hand off me and said I wasn�t interested. Then, I believe he told me off, but honestly, I couldn�t hear and I didn�t care. What the fuck!? Okay, getting long here, but I have another one. Met a guy, he was nice, went outside, talked a few minutes, gave him my number. 30 minutes later, he found me back inside and asked me for it again, said he needed to write it down because he couldn�t remember. To which I said, �Listen, if you can�t remember my number when I give it to you, you don�t need to be calling me now, do you.� He said, �Oh� okay,� and walked away.

Aside from the icky turds, Kitty and I did have a fucking blast. We sang to all the songs, we jumped and gyrated off to the side, we acted out dances, improvised little skits, overcame a pussy-blocker (similar to �cock-blocker�, he just kept standing between us!) There was a constant appreciative audience, I ran into some friends from high school (as always) and they joined in the fun. The whole thing, the whole experience, was just fucking too much� but funny. Kitty said, �Why did I let you drag me out tonight?� I said, �To remind you why you usually stay home, babe. To remind you.�

Right now, there are 4 kids making out in my living room. My sister, her friend, and two boys. Sigh. Hooking up in San Diego is more trouble than it�s worth. I need to place an ad for a houseboy and have him shipped here. One that can�t talk. No offense to my men here, I love me some guys in San Diego. But as you know, there are different breeds, this is not a gender thing, and I think it�ll be another 3 years before I ever head into the Moose (appropriately named) place again. How can I masturbate with all these people here!!?? Don�t you worry about me, I�ll figure out a way.

-Barbarella

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2007-05-19
NEW SITE!!!!

2007-05-16
Links and Update

2007-05-09
Two Links

2007-05-06
Yes, Even MORE new pictures

2007-05-06
Mizz Asshole

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You've GOT to be Kidding Me 2001-12-06 2:57 a.m. Oh my God, tonight was fucking COMEDY. I mean, really people. I�m writing before I go to sleep because honestly, I�m afraid that by morning, I might forget even a smidgeon of the silliness that occurred this evening. Or the absurdity. But, as always, I had fun! First, a quote, to let you know where I stand:

�Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.� -- Aristotle, philosopher (384-322 BCE)

Alright, then. Let�s get this party started. First of all, I LOVE my cell phone, and it�s only been a day. I�ll adjust slowly, it�s just that the vibrator in it is SO strong! Ah yes, back to my story: We went to dinner. Kitty, her new roommate-to-be and me. Cuban restaurant, a bit overpriced, but quite delectable nonetheless. Once I worked through my planning-meeting-up-with-people stresses, I was able to kick back and laugh at Kitty and� I just realized I need a name for this guy, he�ll be around� let�s call him Smitty. After dinner, dropped off Smitty and went home to help the sis get ready for the big evening. I�m not one for downtown, but it�s Jen�s friend�s birthday, and that�s where the girls wanted to go, so there we went. Moose McGillicutty�s (I don�t care if it�s spelled wrong). Last time I went to this cheesy fucking meat market was 3 years ago with Halcyon and some older woman tried to pick us both up. I remembered not digging on the crowd or the atmosphere, but Kitty was down to join me in a new adventure, and we put our �adaptable-blend� hats on and strutted our shit right into that skank-hole.

I�m sure we�re all familiar with the muppets, yes? Do you remember the two old cronies who sat off to the side and heckled everyone throughout every show? Well, that would describe Kitty and me this evening. The men were scoping, the women were drunk and stupid, some old folks scattered about, lurking and watching, a woman who had to be in her mid-forties, sizeable lady, danced in front on stage the entire time, looking like a crack-whore who was trying ecstasy for the first time. It was bad. We were game. At first, the crowd BUGGED. We pushed our way through and held our own until we found the perfect spot � off to the side, enough room to dance, but not on the dance floor, we were good. And then, the men came. My God, the men. What the fuck is wrong with you penises? I�ve never had a guy friend who acted as obnoxious, desperate and pushy as these fuckers. And yes, Barbarella came through with some good examples for you. Let�s get to it, then.

This one guy kept asking me to dance all night. I�d say no, he�d come back, �C�mon, just one dance, what�s wrong with that? I can�t have just one dance?� At first, I was nice. I asked for his name, told him I didn�t want to go to the floor, but he was welcome to join us off to the side. He kept asking until I simply turned my back to him and he walked away. This happened at least 3 times. Then, he came up to me a fourth time. And he said, �We can dance right here, but I want to dance WITH you,� and he kept grabbing at my hands. �They�re just in your pockets, what�s the big deal, bring �em out and dance!� Losing my patience, I said, �My hands are quite happy where they are, thank you, and I don�t mind you standing here with us, Joey (I�m good like that, I remember names, gets �em every time), but do not touch me.� You�d think he�d get the fucking hint, right? NO! This ass-fuck comes back yet ANOTHER time, same shit, with some pouty face on, and I said, �Listen, don�t fucking pout, do not take this personally, do you see anyone else touching me? No. So do not fucking touch me, it�s simple enough, I think I�m being pretty fucking fair.�

He walked away. As we left the club, he tried to physically pull me off to the side, said he needed to tell me something. I brushed his hand off me and said I wasn�t interested. Then, I believe he told me off, but honestly, I couldn�t hear and I didn�t care. What the fuck!? Okay, getting long here, but I have another one. Met a guy, he was nice, went outside, talked a few minutes, gave him my number. 30 minutes later, he found me back inside and asked me for it again, said he needed to write it down because he couldn�t remember. To which I said, �Listen, if you can�t remember my number when I give it to you, you don�t need to be calling me now, do you.� He said, �Oh� okay,� and walked away.

Aside from the icky turds, Kitty and I did have a fucking blast. We sang to all the songs, we jumped and gyrated off to the side, we acted out dances, improvised little skits, overcame a pussy-blocker (similar to �cock-blocker�, he just kept standing between us!) There was a constant appreciative audience, I ran into some friends from high school (as always) and they joined in the fun. The whole thing, the whole experience, was just fucking too much� but funny. Kitty said, �Why did I let you drag me out tonight?� I said, �To remind you why you usually stay home, babe. To remind you.�

Right now, there are 4 kids making out in my living room. My sister, her friend, and two boys. Sigh. Hooking up in San Diego is more trouble than it�s worth. I need to place an ad for a houseboy and have him shipped here. One that can�t talk. No offense to my men here, I love me some guys in San Diego. But as you know, there are different breeds, this is not a gender thing, and I think it�ll be another 3 years before I ever head into the Moose (appropriately named) place again. How can I masturbate with all these people here!!?? Don�t you worry about me, I�ll figure out a way.