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2001-12-11

Anger Advice

�Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides.� � Rita Mae Brown, writer (1944- )

Jesus, I can�t stop sneezing! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Kind of fun in a �little death� sort of way, if you get me. But anyhoo, achoo! I�m through my anger tasting, it was interesting, a few things I figured out along the way. Sometimes, we like to remain angry at something or someone because it puts us in this powerful position. Like, I�m angry at you, therefore I hold control over you. You care about what people think, not having them dislike you for whatever reasons, so you are apologetic and eager to please around them, which puts them in some sort of higher position. I don�t like that position. I�d rather someone be nice to me because they genuinely mean it, not because they are trying to mend some proverbial inflicted wound. My wounds heal themselves.

But, I realized what takes us out of anger, or at least what takes ME out of anger. Realizing that someone has actually heard and understands WHY I am upset. All we need is to be heard and understood, it�s so bloody important to us human-creatures (no, I don�t know why I used the word, �bloody�, perhaps I�m having a Brit moment, give me a break). So I�m again in a great mood, am angry and upset no more, and back to stressing about what, when, and how I�m going to actually pack my shit. I hate cleaning or packing or anything of the like. Domestic crap. Sigh, I�ll get through it.

Today, my mother is 50 years old. I just called her at work and sang Happy Birthday in the traditional way my family sings it. My mouth tastes like ass, and I don�t want to deal with the day, with my chores and responsibilities. But I will. If she can plug through 50 years with a smile on her face, then I can throw some shit in a box (packing) and make it to her work with flowers (seeing a smile on the birthday girl). Perspective, people, perspective.

I�m excited about this weekend. Lots of fun stuff happening. Busy week, too. So, I should probably get to it then. And those of you who are angry, who feel wronged, who feel hurt, think of this: the world doesn�t owe you shit. But if you feel hurt by someone in particular, you may feel that THAT PERSON owes you SOMETHING. Understanding, explanation, whatever it may be. Just don�t hold on to it for very long, because if they start to give you what you feel you deserve and then you get greedy for more, it won�t matter in the end. Because they won�t stick around to keep giving it. Take what you need and move on. And that, is the word of our Barb.

Love you bloody rascals! Even if you�re all slut-heads.

-Barbarella

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Anger Advice 2001-12-11 11:00 a.m. �Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides.� � Rita Mae Brown, writer (1944- )

Jesus, I can�t stop sneezing! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Kind of fun in a �little death� sort of way, if you get me. But anyhoo, achoo! I�m through my anger tasting, it was interesting, a few things I figured out along the way. Sometimes, we like to remain angry at something or someone because it puts us in this powerful position. Like, I�m angry at you, therefore I hold control over you. You care about what people think, not having them dislike you for whatever reasons, so you are apologetic and eager to please around them, which puts them in some sort of higher position. I don�t like that position. I�d rather someone be nice to me because they genuinely mean it, not because they are trying to mend some proverbial inflicted wound. My wounds heal themselves.

But, I realized what takes us out of anger, or at least what takes ME out of anger. Realizing that someone has actually heard and understands WHY I am upset. All we need is to be heard and understood, it�s so bloody important to us human-creatures (no, I don�t know why I used the word, �bloody�, perhaps I�m having a Brit moment, give me a break). So I�m again in a great mood, am angry and upset no more, and back to stressing about what, when, and how I�m going to actually pack my shit. I hate cleaning or packing or anything of the like. Domestic crap. Sigh, I�ll get through it.

Today, my mother is 50 years old. I just called her at work and sang Happy Birthday in the traditional way my family sings it. My mouth tastes like ass, and I don�t want to deal with the day, with my chores and responsibilities. But I will. If she can plug through 50 years with a smile on her face, then I can throw some shit in a box (packing) and make it to her work with flowers (seeing a smile on the birthday girl). Perspective, people, perspective.

I�m excited about this weekend. Lots of fun stuff happening. Busy week, too. So, I should probably get to it then. And those of you who are angry, who feel wronged, who feel hurt, think of this: the world doesn�t owe you shit. But if you feel hurt by someone in particular, you may feel that THAT PERSON owes you SOMETHING. Understanding, explanation, whatever it may be. Just don�t hold on to it for very long, because if they start to give you what you feel you deserve and then you get greedy for more, it won�t matter in the end. Because they won�t stick around to keep giving it. Take what you need and move on. And that, is the word of our Barb.

Love you bloody rascals! Even if you�re all slut-heads.