My fourth day at work. I must tell you, folks, I didn't realize how low my self-esteem had been until it rocketed up again. I LOVE this place! I owe Pixie so much for bringing me in here. Speaking of the birthday girl, late night last night, and here I am at her desk because that hungover beauty took the day off. We had a lot of fun, though. My GOD, that top! Can we say, "foxy"? Hubba hubba.

Okay, let's see. I've received many compliments daily since I started here on Monday, and yesterday afternoon, after the third round of praises from those I am working for, I said, "This is like crack to me. And now, I'm addicted." I'm not even going to go into my little faux pas's the first day, let's just say Thank God I got away with it! Lesson learned: Do NOT crack jokes at big time lawyers about their inability to articulate as eloquently as myself. It doesn't go over well, fucking trust me.

hee hee. I feel great, even though I'm only on a few hours of sleep. I feel whole again, now that I'm doing SOMETHING in the job department.

But most of all, my father is proud. He always loves me regardless, but having grown up in a small, poor home in Brooklyn, he has difficulty respecting anything or anybody that isn't working or pulling their share in the world. I know it was killing him that I wasn't "doing anything productive", though he would never say it directly. The man has a work ethic not to be reckoned with. If I have a friend who's not employed and not in school, regardless of how wonderful that person may be, he consistently asks, "What's wrong with them? What a waste, what are they doing with their time?" You understand. Republican-you-gotta-work-hard-if-you-expect-to-live mentality. I must admit, I have it as well.

Of course, I've called him every day with overheard compliments and successes in my short time here. This morning, one of the partners introduced himself to me and said, "I've heard you on the phone and with people in the next office, and just had to know who you were. You sound great, and I'm both happy and relieved to have you here with us." I know, I know, tooting my own horn? Not exactly, more like documenting the recent toots of others in my direction.

It just feels so GOOD to feel this good about my capabilities. I haven't had that in awhile, you remember how I hated my last job. This, though... this I can do.

-Barbarella

previous | next