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2002-02-22

Well, it started off light...

�To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.� -Oscar Wilde, writer (1854-1900)

The last two evenings have been refreshingly relaxing for me. The other day I stopped by Blove�s after work for some cocktails and snacky-snacks. Poor thing, how was he to know that I don�t like onions OR cilantro? We looked at pictures of beautiful, naked women and talked about life. It�s always good times with Blove. Damn, I smell great today. I don�t know what it is, exactly, just the right mixture of shampoo & soap? Whatever it is, I�m lovin� it.

Last night I had designs to do so many things! But after I made it to the store, in line with my Diet Coke (mother�s milk) and single serving of rainbow tortellini, I caved and threw the new, 562-page Vogue on the conveyer belt, thereby solidifying my desire to stay in and have a woman�s night alone with figure-skating, a meal for one, and the bible of fashion. The Olympic show was spectacular, Sara Hughes takes the gold! Good for her, she made me WANT her and only her to have it.

Work is BUSY, I�ll probably hardly have time to piss today. I like it that way. My next 3 weekends are packed full of events, it�s nice to have things going on. The only unfortunate thing is, there will be a few occasions where I have to choose, and I hate that. My sister�s birthday falls on the same day as Blove�s birthday party. Shit. Also that night, another friend is having a party that she�s been postponing, something I really wanted to go to. Triple shit. But I can�t complain. These are all people I love, and I�m excited that I�m a part of so many things to begin with. I love my friends.

This weekend, God, it�s already here! Tonight, gallery opening for an amazing artist and all-around hysterically witty guy, Mr. Ollie of Digitalpunk.net. Check it out. He makes me piss my pants at least twice a day. Then, a birthday party for some guy in a band, who knows what else will come up. Tomorrow night, a surprise party for a friend (hope the person doesn�t see this and figure it out), then the big GETM event down at the Children�s Museum. Can I do it all??? We�ll see. Sunday, the last family dinner with my grandfather in town. Sigh. Full weekend, and it�s just around the corner.

I smell so good it�s distracting. Alright, enough about me. Here�s a little thought for you, something to mull over during the weekend... are you honest with yourself? This is not one to be answered quickly, matter-of-factly. Really think about it. Do you convince yourself that you are doing something for a certain reason when deep on some level, you KNOW there are other, more selfish reasons? Do you answer questions such as these with the intention of placating those around you? Of making it seem better than you think it really is? What ARE your intentions? I�ve been having issues lately with committing to plans. I don�t want to say, �Yes, I will do that, for sure,� because I know within myself that I may change my mind, I don�t want to be �stuck�, something more fun or more cohesive to my changing mood might come up. And if it DID, I would have to be honest with someone, and say, �listen, I�m such a selfish bitch that I�ve suddenly decided that this other thing would be more fun, and that it doesn�t involve you.�

It�s so much easier to say, �listen, I don�t know how I�ll feel later, or what I want to do. So don�t include me in your plans, and if I want to come, I�ll drive separately.� I just... it�s just that... I hate feeling STUCK. But I know that it�s all in my head, and that no one is forcing me to do anything I don�t want to do. So I try not to give them any ideas. And I drive separately. Just a bit of introspection. There�s a lot more to that, but we have so many days ahead of us, and I have a lot of work to do. Have a great weekend! And if YOU�RE driving, separately or not, do it sober.

-Barbarella

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2007-05-19
NEW SITE!!!!

2007-05-16
Links and Update

2007-05-09
Two Links

2007-05-06
Yes, Even MORE new pictures

2007-05-06
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Well, it started off light... 2002-02-22 9:35 a.m. �To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.� -Oscar Wilde, writer (1854-1900)

The last two evenings have been refreshingly relaxing for me. The other day I stopped by Blove�s after work for some cocktails and snacky-snacks. Poor thing, how was he to know that I don�t like onions OR cilantro? We looked at pictures of beautiful, naked women and talked about life. It�s always good times with Blove. Damn, I smell great today. I don�t know what it is, exactly, just the right mixture of shampoo & soap? Whatever it is, I�m lovin� it.

Last night I had designs to do so many things! But after I made it to the store, in line with my Diet Coke (mother�s milk) and single serving of rainbow tortellini, I caved and threw the new, 562-page Vogue on the conveyer belt, thereby solidifying my desire to stay in and have a woman�s night alone with figure-skating, a meal for one, and the bible of fashion. The Olympic show was spectacular, Sara Hughes takes the gold! Good for her, she made me WANT her and only her to have it.

Work is BUSY, I�ll probably hardly have time to piss today. I like it that way. My next 3 weekends are packed full of events, it�s nice to have things going on. The only unfortunate thing is, there will be a few occasions where I have to choose, and I hate that. My sister�s birthday falls on the same day as Blove�s birthday party. Shit. Also that night, another friend is having a party that she�s been postponing, something I really wanted to go to. Triple shit. But I can�t complain. These are all people I love, and I�m excited that I�m a part of so many things to begin with. I love my friends.

This weekend, God, it�s already here! Tonight, gallery opening for an amazing artist and all-around hysterically witty guy, Mr. Ollie of Digitalpunk.net. Check it out. He makes me piss my pants at least twice a day. Then, a birthday party for some guy in a band, who knows what else will come up. Tomorrow night, a surprise party for a friend (hope the person doesn�t see this and figure it out), then the big GETM event down at the Children�s Museum. Can I do it all??? We�ll see. Sunday, the last family dinner with my grandfather in town. Sigh. Full weekend, and it�s just around the corner.

I smell so good it�s distracting. Alright, enough about me. Here�s a little thought for you, something to mull over during the weekend... are you honest with yourself? This is not one to be answered quickly, matter-of-factly. Really think about it. Do you convince yourself that you are doing something for a certain reason when deep on some level, you KNOW there are other, more selfish reasons? Do you answer questions such as these with the intention of placating those around you? Of making it seem better than you think it really is? What ARE your intentions? I�ve been having issues lately with committing to plans. I don�t want to say, �Yes, I will do that, for sure,� because I know within myself that I may change my mind, I don�t want to be �stuck�, something more fun or more cohesive to my changing mood might come up. And if it DID, I would have to be honest with someone, and say, �listen, I�m such a selfish bitch that I�ve suddenly decided that this other thing would be more fun, and that it doesn�t involve you.�

It�s so much easier to say, �listen, I don�t know how I�ll feel later, or what I want to do. So don�t include me in your plans, and if I want to come, I�ll drive separately.� I just... it�s just that... I hate feeling STUCK. But I know that it�s all in my head, and that no one is forcing me to do anything I don�t want to do. So I try not to give them any ideas. And I drive separately. Just a bit of introspection. There�s a lot more to that, but we have so many days ahead of us, and I have a lot of work to do. Have a great weekend! And if YOU�RE driving, separately or not, do it sober.