�There are times when we must sink to the bottom of our misery to understand truth, just as we must descent to the bottom of a well to see the stars in broad daylight.� � Vaclav Havel, writer, Czech Republic president (1936- )

You know, it doesn�t actually make sense , but it sure does lead me to think of things that do. What can you say, this is translated from Czech. I�m sure much was missed in the crossover. But I�m also pretty sure you get my drift. Sometimes, we are not able to see the light unless we are surrounded by darkness.

I�m very busy now, working my tail off (yes, I do have a tail), and loving every minute so far. I may have to stop updating for awhile. That, and an article Halcyon posted yesterday about online journals left me feeling� I�m not sure I can find the words. Let�s just say, that I wonder sometimes, aside from the bond I form with some of my friends through my writing here, why I do it. Aside from the totally selfish and egotistical reason of thinking everyone is better off if they know what I�M doing, or what�s on MY mind.

Like I almost NEED to share it. Last night, as I was writing in my personal journal at home, I noted the freedom I felt, nothing was edited out. For those of you who know me well, you know that much is edited from this diary here. I lead a busy, people-filled life, and this just captures 10 minutes of my mind, where I copy and paste a piece of my thoughts that are ever-changing. I don�t think it captures ME.

Last night, I hung with about a dozen wonderful women and learned about wine, while tasting all different delicious kinds. There�s the update. Then, I went home early, to write and to read, because today, I start my job with more responsibilities. And getting promoted means working harder. And I plan to. I just don�t know where this fits for me anymore. Maybe I need to be invisible for awhile. Too many people already know more than they need to about me, and with all the crazies who are addicted to their computers and the falsities they can get away with in this cyber-world, I�m better off in reality.

Where, as a cynical realist, I probably belong anyway. Now, back to work! At my real job in my new, real office! I just can�t afford the time it takes to wonder about things and people who aren�t within my tangible reach. Don�t you understand?

-Barbarella

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