�Natural abilities are like natural plants; they need pruning by study.� -Francis Bacon, essayist, philosopher, and statesman (1561-1626)

Holy shit, it�s happened. The corporations have finally influenced NASA . It�s all downhill and advertisements from here. But I say this tongue-in-cheek, as I sit here sipping on my Caf� Caramel. Mmmm, but I�ll be damned if it�s from Starbucks. I�m all about the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf.

Whew! My weekend was internally intense. Saturday, I blew off a street fair and a party and spent the day and evening with a few of my sisters and my mother. They put so much energy into trying to cheer me up, not used to my face when it�s not smiling or smirking. Mom bought me 3 new pairs of shoes, Jane made ridiculous faces, Heather threw logic at me. It wasn�t what they did, but just being around them and turning off my phone that finally did cheer me up. As great as my life is going, as it always is when I �am�, there are a few things nagging at my peace, antagonizing my contentment.

Work: I�m hearing through the grapevine (remember when I said I always find out? I wasn�t whistling Dixie, people, shit comes back to me like a boomerang to the most skilled of Aborigines) that there are more than a few people in my place of work who are more bitter at my recent luck of the draw than not. It�s a bit of a downer to hear that people don�t think you deserve to be where you are. That they think my title is a farce and that my position is one of �glorified customer service worker.� Sigh. I�ll tell you, it is true that I�m in the learning stages right now. That I don�t have the background or the experience to necessarily warrant my added responsibilities.

But my response was firm to all who leaked back to me � just you watch. I may be learning on the job right now, but I learn very quickly, and I will have the respect and reverence of everyone here in record time, not forcing it, but earning it bit by bit. I do know that they want to like me, I can read that in people. They�re just territorial, possessive, and about to learn a very tough lesson � attitude really IS everything. And I�m going to be the woman to teach them that. Do they really think that I�d be given the kind of treatment and accelerated advancement if I wasn�t able to rise to the occasion and do a good job? Well, no matter, they�ll see eventually. Sometimes, when you get a little taller, you�re not prepared for the longer dark shadow that accompanies your new height.

Other things? Fuck it, this is already too long. Let�s put it this way � I liked not doing anything social this weekend. I hung with my sisters and Ronaldo, and I feel replenished. I�ve just got too much going on in my head to show up for anyone but me right now. And that�s quite alright.

-Barbarella

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