I think that Jim Henson would be proud . Do they already have a gay character? Someone let me know.

I think I�ve figured out what my problem has been lately on the social scale, now that I�ve had a full week of nothing but socializing. I have issues with obligation. The moment I feel like I have to do something or go somewhere is the moment I begin to resist any desire I originally had of doing that something or going that somewhere. Make sense to you? I do not like to be pressured, it kills my buzz.

But this week, every night I�ve been busy, and every night I�ve gone to sleep content with what I busied myself with. I didn�t have that �why am I sitting here, wasting my time� feeling that I think I�ve had the last few months or so on some occasions. Back to the old me, having fun wherever I go. It just takes conscious effort not to question why I�m where I am or what I�m doing, because those wonderings lead to a pensive, antisocial Barbarella. And she�s just not a whole lot of fun to be around, even for herself, which is why she tends to absquatulate and retire early during those �episodes.�

I attribute my social bounce-back to the great conversations with wonderful people that I�ve stumbled into at virtually every recent gathering. Good conversation, one filled with laughter and thought, it�s like crack. You don�t really know how GOOD good-conversation is until you don�t have it for awhile. Suddenly, you find yourself talking with someone, and they�re listening to you, and your listening to them, and something clicks (mutual interest and excitement of the topic), you almost feel the buzzing tingle of electricity in the air (molecules of bonding, communication and understanding creating energy), and it�s as refreshing and fulfilling as your first gasp of fresh air after being submerged beneath the sand (think � The Princess Bride ).

I think you get the picture. Suffocation sucks (damn, I�m punny). But onto my update! That is, if you have time now after my rant! Last night was ridiculously fun. Dinner and movie with Kitty, Zim, and Ronaldo , then over to club Fusion, where the boys of the Stanton Residence were putting on an audio and visual extravaganza. Birthday boy George spun some sick-ass mixes after Troy Wonderboy.

My sister came with a date, ooh la la! I was feeling fungussy (another Barbarism, and I�m not going to spell that one out for you� okay, twist my arm � S H R O O M), so the lights and music were that much more interesting to me. By midnight my buzz from the few drinks I had and whatnot all evaporated and I was happy, content, and sober. I had some great conversation (bling, bling!), did some boogying, some laughing, and people-watching. I�d have to say that made for a complete evening.

Tonight, a gallery opening at Ronaldo�s. Tomorrow, a housewarming for Sunshine and Sailor. And to prove yet again how alike are the Lord and I, Sunday I have deemed to be my day of rest. And you thought I was blasphemous. Have a great weekend!

-Barbarella

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