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2002-08-12

Life, Long Parties, and the Lessons Learned

Honestly, folks, does anyone really give a shit? Go on strike, boys. I still don�t think you deserve half of what you get, as your sport bores the living shit out of me and annoys me almost as much as your financially indignant attitudes. I�m a tad bit pissy this morning.

Friday night, I stayed in and had dinner and a movie with Dad. As he is gone now (Korea, take care of him), it was nice to spend the time. Saturday, after getting my hair colored and styled by the fabuloso Ronaldo , I stopped by the Stanton Residence to hang with Nina. Bluetech�s dog, Leilani, was hit by a car, and the whole house was upset and worried, as Leilani was still in the hospital. We had a great time, went to the store, discovered a new and tasty Chinese Restaurant, and chatted and laughed. Nice, nice.

Saturday night, dinner with Dad and Jane, and then I was off to a big party. I grabbed Ollie and we headed to the house in Pacific Beach, where there were to be friends, popular local dj�s, a pool, a sauna, and a place to party. Boy, did it bring the young ones. For the first few hours, I felt like I was thrown into some documentary about kids and parties, lollipops and glow sticks, which should tell you something.

Ollie and I shot the shit for awhile, which is always a pleasure. I enjoy people who share my sense of humor and irony, not to mention my overall distaste for some things that I usually can�t voice. Friends showed up in little groups, and before we knew it, we had ourselves a full-fledged party. I got to dance, I got to meet some folks, I got to chill and take my mind off of everything but what was in front of me. I got to sit in the sauna with two hot naked men (fogged glasses can be quite annoying) and so much more.

After the party, in the wee hours of the morning, we headed to Zion�s to hang with a handful of people. Sunday, half the day was spent at Zion�s, and we found out much about this new friend. I found out much about so much more. Sometimes, it�s so nice to quiet the voices in my head and concentrate only on peace, warmth, and joyful sensations. I experienced meditation, perhaps for the first time, and I can�t tell you how wonderful it was.

I also witnessed glimpses of others� true colors, or at least how I see them to be. There�s nothing wrong with observation. There�s nothing wrong with knowing something. Having an opinion is not the same as being ill-willed. It is intention that ultimately destroys people. If intentions are selfish, subconscious, full of fear and greed, full of need, to fill an abyss of emptiness, then you are a lost soul. A sad soul. A miserable soul. And all you can do is destroy things around you, until ultimately, you destroy yourself.

Sunday, I felt at peace with my own intentions. And rather than questioning them, as I�m apt to do, I recognized and accepted them. I went home, showered, and laid on clean sheets with my two cats, pondering the things I realized and witnessed over the weekend, sweeping out the remainder of the mental dirt that had been exposed during the �cleaning of the crevices� of my mind. And I slept peacefully.

-Barbarella

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Life, Long Parties, and the Lessons Learned 2002-08-12 9:53 a.m. Honestly, folks, does anyone really give a shit? Go on strike, boys. I still don�t think you deserve half of what you get, as your sport bores the living shit out of me and annoys me almost as much as your financially indignant attitudes. I�m a tad bit pissy this morning.

Friday night, I stayed in and had dinner and a movie with Dad. As he is gone now (Korea, take care of him), it was nice to spend the time. Saturday, after getting my hair colored and styled by the fabuloso Ronaldo , I stopped by the Stanton Residence to hang with Nina. Bluetech�s dog, Leilani, was hit by a car, and the whole house was upset and worried, as Leilani was still in the hospital. We had a great time, went to the store, discovered a new and tasty Chinese Restaurant, and chatted and laughed. Nice, nice.

Saturday night, dinner with Dad and Jane, and then I was off to a big party. I grabbed Ollie and we headed to the house in Pacific Beach, where there were to be friends, popular local dj�s, a pool, a sauna, and a place to party. Boy, did it bring the young ones. For the first few hours, I felt like I was thrown into some documentary about kids and parties, lollipops and glow sticks, which should tell you something.

Ollie and I shot the shit for awhile, which is always a pleasure. I enjoy people who share my sense of humor and irony, not to mention my overall distaste for some things that I usually can�t voice. Friends showed up in little groups, and before we knew it, we had ourselves a full-fledged party. I got to dance, I got to meet some folks, I got to chill and take my mind off of everything but what was in front of me. I got to sit in the sauna with two hot naked men (fogged glasses can be quite annoying) and so much more.

After the party, in the wee hours of the morning, we headed to Zion�s to hang with a handful of people. Sunday, half the day was spent at Zion�s, and we found out much about this new friend. I found out much about so much more. Sometimes, it�s so nice to quiet the voices in my head and concentrate only on peace, warmth, and joyful sensations. I experienced meditation, perhaps for the first time, and I can�t tell you how wonderful it was.

I also witnessed glimpses of others� true colors, or at least how I see them to be. There�s nothing wrong with observation. There�s nothing wrong with knowing something. Having an opinion is not the same as being ill-willed. It is intention that ultimately destroys people. If intentions are selfish, subconscious, full of fear and greed, full of need, to fill an abyss of emptiness, then you are a lost soul. A sad soul. A miserable soul. And all you can do is destroy things around you, until ultimately, you destroy yourself.

Sunday, I felt at peace with my own intentions. And rather than questioning them, as I�m apt to do, I recognized and accepted them. I went home, showered, and laid on clean sheets with my two cats, pondering the things I realized and witnessed over the weekend, sweeping out the remainder of the mental dirt that had been exposed during the �cleaning of the crevices� of my mind. And I slept peacefully.