�Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.� � Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948)

This morning, I awoke well-rested, with a lazy smile on my face, happy to see another day. Especially happy to see a misty morning. As I�ve mentioned more than a few times, misty mornings mold my mood mellow, and nothing seems to bother me.

I had a wonderfully relaxing evening; read for a bit, met Zim for a delightful dinner, and went home to read some more. I�ve been in this �hide out� mood for a few days now, I�m sure it�s because I partied so hard the other night. But I like it. I like being alone, and I like not having the need to explain why to people. I just want to be. I think it was Benjamin Disraeli who said, �Never complain and never explain.� I feel like that right now.

I�ve got nothing more to say. I disagree with people. I don�t have to see things their way. It�s okay for me to disappear and not explain why in a coddling and apologetic tone of voice. That�s freedom. I have a tendency to feel obligated to explain myself, from the insignificant to the major, and I�m trying very hard to overcome that habit. To explain the inexplicable will only obfuscate my truth, which is as it is, without words.

Therefore, I have this craving to say �fuck it� and go about my day. Enjoy the misty coolness breathing in my open office window. And not think about anything as I focus on a day�s worth of work to do, get it done, and leave to do whatever it is I�ll be doing tonight; which will most likely involve me, without the accoutrements and benefits of another body.

I had no idea the Swedish word, �fart� means �speed.� I�m going to giggle about that while I dig through this mess of papers on my desk and make sense of these litigious forms.

-Barbarella

previous | next