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2002-08-28

Feeling "Good" and Bored as Hell

I wrote in my journal at home last night for the first time in almost a month. That�s so ODD for me! So I wrote about why I have nothing to write about in my personal, home, handwritten journal. I�ve got nothing stressing me out, and that�s starting to get on my nerves, how sick is that? I haven�t had any emotional UP or DOWN in a LONG time, I feel so even-keeled that I�ve questioned friends about slipping me Prozac. I don�t remember the last time I was this okay .

I bore myself with nothing to bitch about, nothing to stress about, taking things as they come and dealing with everything in my path as it appears. I feel emotionally mature , and though I�ve always aspired to be this level-headed, I find that I�m missing the roller-coaster excitement of drama. Huh. The good thing is, without anything to stress about, I�ve been doing a LOT of self-improvement. Going back to school for my degree is just one of the many things I�m working on. I know, I know, doofy and self-helpy, but you won�t be saying that when eventually, I have the power to force you to genuflect in front of me. Right, right.

Okay, enough psychobabble, it�s only Wednesday, for Christ�s sake (as if we truly do anything for his sake anymore� as if his �sake� hasn�t been misconstrued anyway � for all we know, Christ�s �sake� could have been completely hedonistic, all about sex, love, and papyrus dreams � but I digress). Last night I went to a poetry reading with some lovely ladies. I ran into an old friend (always a surprise and a pleasure), and the performers were interesting, entertaining enough, not particularly inspiring though. I haven�t written a poem in a very long time (it�s that emotionally numbing �evenness� that keeps me from the need to express through poem, another reason I could use some drama).

I tried last night, to write one, you know. And I couldn�t. Nothing came, I�m all prose, no poetry, lately. Blah, blah, blah. Oh, some good news! I randomly decided to put a personal ad somewhere, and I got back a handful of responses, ALL of them from ads I was looking at and admiring right before I typed mine up. I never knew there were so many cool fucking people right here in San Diego that I DON�T know yet. So, here�s to getting to know them! Perhaps new blood will bring new excitement to my stagnant-yet-wonderful life.

-Barbarella

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2007-05-19
NEW SITE!!!!

2007-05-16
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2007-05-09
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2007-05-06
Yes, Even MORE new pictures

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Feeling "Good" and Bored as Hell 2002-08-28 10:43 a.m. I wrote in my journal at home last night for the first time in almost a month. That�s so ODD for me! So I wrote about why I have nothing to write about in my personal, home, handwritten journal. I�ve got nothing stressing me out, and that�s starting to get on my nerves, how sick is that? I haven�t had any emotional UP or DOWN in a LONG time, I feel so even-keeled that I�ve questioned friends about slipping me Prozac. I don�t remember the last time I was this okay .

I bore myself with nothing to bitch about, nothing to stress about, taking things as they come and dealing with everything in my path as it appears. I feel emotionally mature , and though I�ve always aspired to be this level-headed, I find that I�m missing the roller-coaster excitement of drama. Huh. The good thing is, without anything to stress about, I�ve been doing a LOT of self-improvement. Going back to school for my degree is just one of the many things I�m working on. I know, I know, doofy and self-helpy, but you won�t be saying that when eventually, I have the power to force you to genuflect in front of me. Right, right.

Okay, enough psychobabble, it�s only Wednesday, for Christ�s sake (as if we truly do anything for his sake anymore� as if his �sake� hasn�t been misconstrued anyway � for all we know, Christ�s �sake� could have been completely hedonistic, all about sex, love, and papyrus dreams � but I digress). Last night I went to a poetry reading with some lovely ladies. I ran into an old friend (always a surprise and a pleasure), and the performers were interesting, entertaining enough, not particularly inspiring though. I haven�t written a poem in a very long time (it�s that emotionally numbing �evenness� that keeps me from the need to express through poem, another reason I could use some drama).

I tried last night, to write one, you know. And I couldn�t. Nothing came, I�m all prose, no poetry, lately. Blah, blah, blah. Oh, some good news! I randomly decided to put a personal ad somewhere, and I got back a handful of responses, ALL of them from ads I was looking at and admiring right before I typed mine up. I never knew there were so many cool fucking people right here in San Diego that I DON�T know yet. So, here�s to getting to know them! Perhaps new blood will bring new excitement to my stagnant-yet-wonderful life.