�When you are content to be simply yourself and don�t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.� � Lao-Tzu

Another of my favorite Lao-Tzu quotes is, �Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage.� Everything went smoothly yesterday. VERY smoothly. In and out of the IRS, got my stuff taken care of, received the rest of the information I need to complete my enrollment process. I feel like a grown-up. I made an appointment with the Dentist for Friday. You don�t want to know how long it�s been since my teeth have seen a doctor. I can�t remember the last time I was this nervous for anything! I told them on the phone, though, I told them that lecturing me is not an option. �I�m already turning myself in, I know I don�t take care of my teeth, so don�t rub my nose in it.� I indicated that I would walk out at the first sign of a lecture, and I mean it! He took it well, said, �Sure, we look forward to seeing you again!� I wonder if they realize I�m an adult now. I haven�t been to this office since the last time I got my fake front teeth fixed.

That would be the 6th or 7th time I had gotten my fake front teeth fixed. Then, a dentist in Beverly Hills a few years back for some SERIOUS DEEP cleanings, and I never went in to get those cavities filled. Shit. Cavities. ARGH! Wait a tick... Nitrous. I just have to focus on the nitrous and I�ll be FINE. I wonder if I should bring my own cracker & baloon, no, they have those masks, don't they...

I should post that story that I wrote to my friends after my Beverly Hills Dentist experience. I�ll look around for it, perhaps that will be a Friday treat (the day I GO). Whew!

Anyway, my emotional roller coaster of yesterday seems to have slowed to the steady pace and simplicity of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. I wonder what that was, anyway. Upset in the morning, and in the evening, for about an hour, I was ANGRY. No reason, just pissed in general at nothing and everything around me. It felt good. Then, it went away. Emotions are fun! I can only imagine that my hormones were waltzing, break-dancing, doing the running man, and then finally, decided to sit one out.

I watched a funny movie and ate some tasty Persian food with M.s. I slept soundly and comfortably. I awoke with a smile. And already this morning, I�ve accomplished a few of my tasks in the office. Yay! I feel content, excited for things to come (well, except for the dentist appt.), and generally happy. Now that I�ve mentioned the �H� word, I read an article yesterday regarding the scientific explanation of happiness! Check it out �

��a psychologist and a self-styled "life coach" -- concluded that happiness equals P + 5E + 3H. In the equation, P stands for Personal Characteristics (outlook on life, adaptability and resilience); E for Existence (health, friendships and financial stability) and H represents Higher Order (self-esteem, expectations and ambitions). �

So clearly, I�m happy. My P is so high it could be Friday�s new theme music (the movie, that is). My outlook is outstanding, my adaptability is my love of change and alacrity to welcome new things, and resilience? Oh, yeah. Throw in the rest, and well, I cannot complain. So some tears, some anger, some hurt every now and then, I welcome with open arms. Because it�s ALL a part of my experience in life, and I love MY LIFE. Just like I love everyone and everything in it (okay, not EVERYONE� alright, alright, not every THING, but you�re ruining my little moment, so let me play Gandhi for a tad bit longer!)

I digress. Pick up the February issue of Shutterbug Magazine when it hits the shelves. There�s a FABULOUS photo on the cover and a wonderful, three-page article about the man who took it, this VERY talented and totally awesome, like, renowned photographer and shit. AND, I hear he�s quite the hottie! I�m gonna get me some of that. Hee, hee, hee. If I were any funnier, you would pee.

-Barbarella

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