Are YOU a war addict? Hmm? I�m trying not to get sucked in. It�s not like they�re saying anything new anyway. I find if I check in once a day and keep up with Drudge , then I�m as much in the loop as someone who is glued to �new developments� on their television set (and no, My dear s, I do not see you that way, you�re plenty busy doing things away from the screen� hee hee).

If you�re interested, there is an Al-Jazeera site in English right here . Check out the perspective from those who live in the area. And that�s all I have to say about all of this war bullshit.

Alright, onto the thoughts of a Western Woman on a Tuesday. I found much humor this morning, in stupid little things. I laughed out of the shower, I laughed driving to work, I laughed walking into my office. Delirious? No. Exceptionally humorous? No, nothing I�d really share or expect understanding from. But it felt good .

This morning I thought of what I would do if I knew this was my last day to be alive. Not a good thought for someone as introspective as myself to have, you know. I thought, �I know what I�d do� I�d cry. For the entire day. I�d stress and worry and watch the clock.� So basically, what I�m saying here, is if you ever find out that I�m about to die for any reason, just don�t tell me, I�d rather not know, because I know myself too well. It�s an interesting thing to ponder, though, because I strive to have no regrets. Thinking about the finitity (Barbarism) of life keeps me in the mindset of wanting to go out with no regrets, which leads to me taking care of more shit than I would otherwise. It�s an exceptional mind-fuck, and I am constantly masturbating in this way.

I got to talk to a handful of good, old friends recently. Zim, Africa (Baldy), Bobo, Honey� I look forward to seeing each of them soon. There is just so much for me to look forward to right now, that I have to reel myself back to the present. I wouldn�t want to spend my last days staring at the horizon, no. I want to spend them looking at everyone around me, and laughing. Because they�re all so fucking funny-looking. But seriously, you know what I mean. NOW. PEOPLE. LOVE. NOW. And all that yummy stuff that is living and breathing in the moment.

I�ll be there if you need me.

-Barbarella

previous | next