�Every reader finds himself. The writer�s work is merely a kind of optical instrument that makes it possible for the reader to discern what, without this book, he would perhaps never have seen in himself.� � Marcel Proust

First of all, I would like to change every �he� in that quote to �she,� �himself� to �herself,� and so on. Secondly, I would like to mention that I find this strangely apropos, as the title of the book I�M reading right now is Wicked . But I must say, I actually knew that about myself before I began reading this novel, good as it is so far. Reminds me of the boys , all this wickedness. Hee hee.

Alright, what have we here? Friday! And everything is properly brewing over here at the office; I�ll be busy with plenty of work to do, and will rest assured that the disarray and frustration and cattiness will not die around me, without me, as I disappear into the litigation process for several clients.

Did I say process? I meant paperwork. Oh, the weekend, I�m so excited for the weekend! Not much happening, my calendar is open, an anodyne schedule. Sunday I�m going to the ballet with a German woman I work with. Romeo and Juliet. I�ve never been to the ballet, and I�m looking forward to it, to meeting a handful of new people, to live theater. Even if I�m missing my sister�s birthday bar-b-cue (which wasn�t scheduled until this week, but dammit!) I�ll have to figure out how to get her present to her before Sunday. But these are trivial things you need not know.

Am I a bad person because I don�t care that a reporter died in Iraq? Known risk, I think. People at the office are outraged, upset, one woman sounds like she�s about to burst into tears. My reaction? I didn�t know him and it had no effect on me other than to think, I feel sorry for his family. Unfortunate when ANYONE dies, and that happens every day, to people all around the world. I reacted emotionally to the death of that young protestor who was bulldozed in Israel, because she was young, because she believed she was helping a family and was murdered for her efforts, and that�s a tragedy. But someone who puts himself in the war to report on the goings-on, he knows of that danger and that is a risk that he took willingly. Unfortunate? Yes. Am I going to cry over him? No.

Does that mean I�m desensitized? No� or maybe. It means I�m realistic. If I broke down every time I read a headline or heard of a death, I would never get anything done. I wouldn�t enjoy my life as I�m still living it. I�m saving that upset for those that I know and love, some of which has already been spent and hardened me just a little (my cousin was a casualty of this "war"). A part of life is death, and a part of living is surviving the millions (or is it thousands) that die every day.

So I really wish these sniveling ninnies would pull their faces away from the television and get back to work.

Maybe I�m just a bad person. But I like to believe that I just know how to assign my emotions appropriately, and grieving over every headline is just a waste of time and a waste of tears. There are just too many headlines. Fuckin� media.

What I mean by all of this, is have a great weekend! And I can�t wait to tell you about the ballet and the other wonderful times I will have had! See? I can be all cheery and shit.

-Barbarella

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