“Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the man, the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong. All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values, not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them. The truly civilized man is always skeptical and tolerant, in this field as in all others. His culture is based on ‘I am not too sure.’” - H.L. Mencken
Good quote of the day. It’s a good thing I didn’t try and update about an hour ago. I was fuming so hot my keyboard would have melted. I had quite the morning. While attempting to put a fire out, I was snapped at by the person who started it. I snapped back. Ooh, don’t get her when she’s cranky! Then, I was belittled and demeaned, something I do not take kindly to. It was clear that I was enraged. After venting to some eager listeners and powers that be, I had cooled down a bit, and was able to respond to yet another request from our most challenged lawyer in the firm.
After I found the paper on her desk that she had accused me of never giving to her, she asked me quite bluntly why I was so upset with her. She said she was afraid to talk to me. She was defensive. I took a deep breath, and said, “Listen. I understand that you were frustrated this morning. I myself felt very pressured, and was here early to make sure that your court call was set up for you.” I didn’t mention the fact that I was here an hour early and she showed up minutes before she needed to place a call, so I felt no sympathy for her “dire” situation. I never feel sympathy for anybody’s self-created shit.
I continued on, “Okay. We had some misunderstandings this morning. I was tense, you were tense, we both snapped, I was frustrated, you don’t understand how I could have been so upset, which is why I’m explaining it to you now.” She tried to identify with me by blaming someone who wasn’t there to stand up for himself. I said, “It’s not my concern what caused the fire, the fact is, there was one, and that’s what I was working on.” God, I could go on and on. Point is, I’m no longer pissed, just a little bit drained.
I feel drained. I feel like I have no time. I hate that feeling. Fuckin’ people.
Anyway, school was good last night, I had one of those “AHA!” moments at the end of class. The light went on in my head and I fully comprehended an equation whose meaning had alluded me all evening. After that, I went to the zone to find M.s. wearing everything I told him to wear, and more! I appreciated the outfit, taught him a lesson or two, teased and titillated him a bit, and then... you don’t need to know everything ! I will tell you this, though: We were beautiful.
I don’t feel so drained anymore. Alright, back to work. There’s still so much to do, and tonight I’ve got another thousand things to pack into my schedule. Father Time, have some mercy. We’ll get it done.