ďItís not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.Ē Ė Roy Disney
When people care about you, they question your decisions when those decisions donít seem to be in line with the safest path to take. Members from my nuclear and extended family have been openly questioning my decision to cease school at this time.
The last course I took in school was all about critical thinking and how it relates to decision-making. I know that they care, that they are concerned, but I still find it insulting that they do not trust me to make the best decision for myself. As if I just randomly gave up on school a second time. As if I didnít seriously consider the time and energy and money already invested towards this degree. As if I worked my ass off for a near perfect GPA just to give up. You see, plans change. I am not ďgiving up,Ē I am changing course. I am the only person who seems to embrace that change in my own life. Change does scare the living shit out of me, but that doesnít stop me from sidling up next to it, choosing it to be on my team, over and over and over.
My sister recently shot questions out at me: ďDonít you want a cushion?Ē ďDid you really think about this?Ē ďDid you really do any research or are you just listening to your boyfriend?Ē What? It kills me to think that my family believes I am so easily swayed. That I would sit here and let someone else, partner or not, dictate my future. Sure, opinions count, but I am the only person who chooses my next step. When I began to defend my decision, I was accused of being ďdefensive.Ē You canít win, I told myself. They wonít listen. Donít talk about it. My aunts are convinced that I NEED a degree. They seem disappointed by my decision, as if Iím slipping in the wrong direction.
This is how I look at it: I went back to school to get a degree because a degree in Business Management would most likely help me earn more money as a manager somewhere in the future. It would help me learn more about business and organizations and the corporate world and add to everything Iíve already learned from actually working in various corporations over the years. I had a plan and it was sound. Halfway through my program for this degree, I decided that I do not want a future as a manager in a business somewhere. I donít want to work for others for the rest of my life, I am changing my plan, and I am changing my career path. Therefore, this degree does not make sense. If I choose a career in which a degree makes no difference, why the fuck would I increase my debt by $20,000 and spend another year and a half working my ass off to obtain it? Itís just not logical!
So my family would rather me owe more money and waste my time learning about bullshit I donít ever plan on applying anywhere. Ironically, I learned from the Business Management program all of the reasons it does not make sense for me to continue in it. I LOVE to learn. I am constantly seeking knowledge, of all kinds. Why are some people so convinced that my knowledge must be handed to me by professors in a classroom setting?
Itís funny, you know, I have met more imbeciles with a college degree than I can count. I may very well decide to take classes in something else here and there, I may very well decide at some point in the future that a degree is the best means to an end. But right now, my decision, my path, does not include one. And if you ask me why, Iíll tell you kindly, that itís none of your concern.