"Vocations which we wanted to pursue, but didn't, bleed, like colors, on the whole of our existence." -- Honore de Balzac
I never admitted that all I ever wanted to do was write for a living until I was offered a job. I think I was afraid to give voice to desiring something I wasn't sure I could ever have. But, as I do what I love, and every aspect of my life is in line with who I really am and what I really want, I am my own proof that it is possible. And I will never forget that WHATEVER I want is within my reach, even if I have to stretch a little to reach it.
When I was around 10-years-old, I drew a picture of myself. The drawing is crude, the proportions are all wrong, but I did not fail to add a generous cleavage and a boa around my neck. I'm carrying a funky purse and the clothes I drew, a skirt and a shirt, were in my sister's fashion magazine at the time. But it is not the drawing alone that caught my attention when I found it, after unpacking a box of old sketchbooks and keepsakes. It is what is written at the top, above my head, to the right of the giant, circular, yellow moon I drew in. I wrote: Barbara, When Famous Writer.
Looking at the drawing, I know now for sure that writing is what I've always wanted to do. Which is probably why I have several books from over the years, filled with my handwriting, my stories, my poems, my thoughts and ideas.
I'm going to get this crude little drawing framed and hang it in my office to remind me that I am achieving my dreams. In fact, my life right now is even better than I could have dreamed of. It is now my goal to never take this life I have carved our for myself for granted. Everything I have ever done, has brought me here. And what a wonderful place "here" is.
-Barbarella
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