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2005-11-30

Hormonal

"When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people." -- Abraham Joshua Heschel

I'm in an emotional mood. I guess you could call it a "hormonal mood," but regardless of semantics, my mood remains. I'm finishing up an article, but all I really want to do is put on some show tunes and belt out a few songs so loud and so hard that it serves to purge all of the emotion inside of me.

This would have been a good day to go to the gym, to push and push until physical exhaustion sets in, but it's an off day. Which leaves the music option.

I am tired. I have cramps. In one moment, I embrace M.s. and hold him tight, and weep because of how happy I am to have him in my arms, and in the next, he is off to the grocery store, to leave me with my work, and I stare out the window, paralyzed with the need to cry some more, but without any immediate reason to.

So I popped some Pamprin. Filled up my glass with water. And lift my feet to the top of my desk and place my laptop where it belongs, on my lap, and share with you what's going on in my head. But now, I have to work. The thought that will power me through this work is this -- when I am done, I am going to curl up and finish a book. And then, maybe I'll sing.

-Barbarella

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2007-05-19
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Hormonal 2005-11-30 9:27 a.m. "When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people." -- Abraham Joshua Heschel

I'm in an emotional mood. I guess you could call it a "hormonal mood," but regardless of semantics, my mood remains. I'm finishing up an article, but all I really want to do is put on some show tunes and belt out a few songs so loud and so hard that it serves to purge all of the emotion inside of me.

This would have been a good day to go to the gym, to push and push until physical exhaustion sets in, but it's an off day. Which leaves the music option.

I am tired. I have cramps. In one moment, I embrace M.s. and hold him tight, and weep because of how happy I am to have him in my arms, and in the next, he is off to the grocery store, to leave me with my work, and I stare out the window, paralyzed with the need to cry some more, but without any immediate reason to.

So I popped some Pamprin. Filled up my glass with water. And lift my feet to the top of my desk and place my laptop where it belongs, on my lap, and share with you what's going on in my head. But now, I have to work. The thought that will power me through this work is this -- when I am done, I am going to curl up and finish a book. And then, maybe I'll sing.