"A man needs a little madness, or else he never dares cut the rope and be free." -- Nikos Kazantzakis

And things have been crazy around here! I am working on three cover stories simultaneously, in addition to my usual weekly columns. Fun, hectic, insane, but still fun, always fun.

My ass seems to have gone down one more size. That's always rewarding, motivating, something to keep me going in the right, healthy direction.

Tomorrow I'm meeting with Houman, event planner extraordinaire, regarding my birthday party (the big 3-0). It's been interesting to consider exactly who I want to be there. M.s. says, "No politics! Just people you really want, not people you think you have to invite." I'm going to break it down in a very simple formula, because with so much money involved (I have to save up for this), I don't have the luxury of being nice for the sake of being nice or inviting people simply because I don't want them to feel excluded.

A formula takes the emotion out of it. I started with 50 people, then I realized I couldn't think of 50 people I liked. Then it was 30, but I wanted the money to go farther for fewer people (nicer food, surroundings, etc). So now it might be 20, an elaborate bash for an intimate number, each person someone I speak to regularly, meaning once or twice a week.

I want to have a separate gathering for my family, for many reasons, the major one being there is a different energy when one is surrounded by friends than there is when one is surrounded by family. I love both kinds, but I want to maximize the experience of each, so for now I'm thinking they will remain separate.

I'm really just writing this down here to figure it out for myself, so there's your glimpse into my thought process. No big update, just someone trying to rationalize things.

-Barbarella

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