"It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind one's back, that are absolutely and entirely true." -- Oscar Wilde
I can't believe it's only Wednesday. I feel like I've experienced two weeks worth of exasperation in a fraction of the time. My schedule has been packed lately, mostly with volunteer work, HOA work, work-work, and family favors. All worth it, but still, I feel a little drained and a little behind my own work and things I would like to have accomplished.
The most frustrating thing I have ever experienced is to be misunderstood. This is why I expend so much energy on honing my communication skills, whether through writing, speaking, or the use of obscene gestures. I don't care if people disagree with me, as long as they understand what the stance is to which they are disagreeing. I don't care if people do not like me, as long as their reasons are based on truth and accuracy (e.g., who I am, or my differing opinion on something).
Sigh. Sometimes you have to know when to give up and move on, sometimes you have to recognize the point at which you begin to see diminishing returns on your energy and effort. I've been there, so I have a sense of what it looks like. And this can be incorporated into any aspect of life, from paying bills (does this service really benefit me? Is it worth the money?), to working on projects (is this effort worth it if the results are not outstanding or is my creativity better suited elsewhere?), and to relationships (is my time and emotional energy well spent if I receive nothing out of this? Meaning, does this relationship nurture me and help me to grow into a better person, or vice versa?)
I am lucky in one regard, at least on the home front -- never before has someone helped me so much to grow into the person I've always wanted to become, never have I been cultivated and cared for in such a way, as I have by my lover and best friend, David. It's amazing what you can achieve with such a supportive partner. I have never before felt so comfortable to be myself, to speak my mind, regardless of the ramifications, few of which matter in the long run when you're living honestly, true to yourself and those around you.
I am becoming more discerning in everything I do. The result is that I am living my life more fully, to more fruitful rewards, and diminishing self-generated drama.