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2006-09-01

Standards

"The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from." -- Andrew Tannenbaum

I've been looking through old photographs lately, trying to select the perfect picture of me at my heaviest, an inspirational "before" to keep me going towards my "after." I have pics of me almost 80 pounds heavier than I am today. Crazy, that I still have so far to go, but I have to keep reminding myself, I'm 100 times healthier today than I have EVER been. And that's somethin'.

Among these pictures I have so many memories, so many friends, so many parties, good times, good people to share those good times, but I realize, not many of these people are in my life anymore. At first, looking at the photos, I felt guilty -- is there something I've done? Did we all just drift apart? Maybe. In some cases. But in others, the drifting was elevated to rowing fast in another direction. What's different? Why is it that I want nothing to do with the same people I wanted EVERYTHING to do with five years ago?

Five years is a long time. I have changed a lot in five years, my behaviors have changed, my opinions have changed, I have grown in certain ways. I now seek out like-minded people, and it turns out, my standards for such have changed along with everything else in my life.

There's nothing snooty or snide about that, regardless of how a few people may internalize it and become defensive over it for whatever they perceive to be their own shortcomings. The fact is, I don't have time to put up with others' behaviors that I don't like and I don't have to.

I'd rather sit in my chair and read than spend an evening making small talk with people who don't excite me, stimulate me, or make me feel good in any way. I would hope that no one would waste their time talking to ME if I didn't do any of those things for them.

It's okay to grow. It's okay to change. I love my life and I will continue to love the people who are in it.

-Barbarella

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2007-05-19
NEW SITE!!!!

2007-05-16
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2007-05-09
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2007-05-06
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Standards 2006-09-01 1:33 p.m. "The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from." -- Andrew Tannenbaum

I've been looking through old photographs lately, trying to select the perfect picture of me at my heaviest, an inspirational "before" to keep me going towards my "after." I have pics of me almost 80 pounds heavier than I am today. Crazy, that I still have so far to go, but I have to keep reminding myself, I'm 100 times healthier today than I have EVER been. And that's somethin'.

Among these pictures I have so many memories, so many friends, so many parties, good times, good people to share those good times, but I realize, not many of these people are in my life anymore. At first, looking at the photos, I felt guilty -- is there something I've done? Did we all just drift apart? Maybe. In some cases. But in others, the drifting was elevated to rowing fast in another direction. What's different? Why is it that I want nothing to do with the same people I wanted EVERYTHING to do with five years ago?

Five years is a long time. I have changed a lot in five years, my behaviors have changed, my opinions have changed, I have grown in certain ways. I now seek out like-minded people, and it turns out, my standards for such have changed along with everything else in my life.

There's nothing snooty or snide about that, regardless of how a few people may internalize it and become defensive over it for whatever they perceive to be their own shortcomings. The fact is, I don't have time to put up with others' behaviors that I don't like and I don't have to.

I'd rather sit in my chair and read than spend an evening making small talk with people who don't excite me, stimulate me, or make me feel good in any way. I would hope that no one would waste their time talking to ME if I didn't do any of those things for them.

It's okay to grow. It's okay to change. I love my life and I will continue to love the people who are in it.