So, uh, yesterday was tough. Lost a big, BIG, deal. Several thousand dollars in addition to one I lost Friday for almost the same amount. I was a wreck. At first, I just wanted to cry. Disappear somewhere and bawl like a boy who�s been kicked in the balls (to me, this was the emotional version of that physical horror). I broke out into hives all over my neck and back, little perfect circles. Hmm, this wasn�t good. Stress got you down? I felt �bleah� all day. But, then the day was over! I went over to the house, you know, the Real one? I went to visit Cyrano, the latest addition to the ever-changing project. It was strange being there, I felt both completely at home yet at the same time, I sensed tension in the air, completely projected by me, of course, but still there. Time has some amazing healing abilities, though, and hopefully, in time, stale and stagnant feelings air out of any house. We just have to remember to leave the windows open.

But I digress! Woo, went right into my head there for a moment, thank God that little bug flew in front of the screen, I could have gotten lost! And by the by, like Danielsan in the Karate Kid, I just caught that bug with my lightning quick and judo-accurate hand. It won�t be flyin� NO more! So, Cyrano and I shot the shit and headed over to my neighborhood to grab some tasty Thai food. Mmm, Thai food. I can still taste it. Hold up, there�s something stuck in my teeth here� Oh! Tee hee, no wonder why.

After dinner we headed back to my place, see, he had a date with my sister later in the evening. Awe! Too fucking cool. To have a friend you click with actually click with the most important person in your life, in my case, my sister. It�s just a cool thing. But between the time we got back to the time Jen got home, there was much drama, the kind of drama you find on NYPD Blue, without the dead body. I�d go into it, but who am I to incriminate anyone? Let alone myself? Hee hee. I don�t mean to be so fucking vague, you must forgive me! I�m a tad bit scattered right now, at work, don�t really want to be here, you know the drill. So Jen got home, they went out, I went to bed, wrote in my poor, neglected, personal journal, read a bit, chatted on the phone and passed the fuck out.

The phone! Comedian! The boys are coming back this weekend, Holy Shit! Kitty and I are fucking ecstatic. Comedian called last night, and he said, �You know, Barb, seriously, and I�m 100% sober right now, so don�t think this is one of those drunk, lovy calls. I have been partying every weekend for like, EVER now, and I need to tell you, last weekend was the most fun I have had in like, 5 years. We can�t stop talking about it, it was beyond fun, it was A-MAZE-ING. As soon as we got home, I knew I had to come back as early as possible.� I was so happy he felt that way! These boys are so much fucking fun to be around, and the fact that now they can�t get enough of us in San Diego is an indicator that I�ll be seeing a lot more of them! Woo hoo!

So they�re coming down Sunday, my cousin gets in Saturday, and we have a day planned in the park. Oh, yes we do. Complete with frolic and fungus (if everything goes as planned). So yesterday was stressful and icky, but this morning, I am shaking with excitement, giddy with anticipation, filled and centered with those �it�s all gonna be okay� feelings, and overjoyed with the people that surround me in life. And, if you can�t tell already, that�s a good thing. A damned-fucking-good thing. Today after work, I'm supposed to go to some studio and do voice overs for a video game some good friends have been working on for years. Fun, fun, fucking fun. My life is so awesome.

-Barbarella

previous | next