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2001-02-07

Meditation

I sneezed a hundred times this morning. I thought maybe I was allergic to my new shampoo, but no, my allergies have actually been acting up for the last few days, so it must just be that time of year; time to vacuum. It was much easier for me to wake up this morning than it has been in weeks. I can only attribute that to what I had for dinner (fish and carrots), because itís not like I went to bed any earlier. Well, now I know! Well-rounded meals mean well-rested Barb. Who knew?

So Iím on the verge of losing another $4500 because of my boss (this is in addition to the $6000 or so lost a few weeks ago). After this, though, she knows not to involve herself in any of my deals (I said ĎBad Girl!í and rubbed her nose on the invoice). My goodness, all the things I could have bought. Cíest la vie. So here, at work, I really need to put on my Productivity Cap. Because lately, Iíve just had no drive for it. I daydream about an editing job, something I love to do but have no schooling for. All I can say, is thank God itís Wednesday! Meditation tonight!! I SO need it! All these thoughts just gallivanting and cavorting around in my head, utter chaos in there, Iím telling you. Yeah, I said ďutterĒ, so you KNOW Iím serious.

A good friend of mine, an ex-fuckbuddy, from LA called me yesterday. He just moved into a new house (benefit of landing a role in more commercials, I guess), and wants me to visit soon. He said that in the yard, he found a giant wooden ďXĒ, complete with metal rings nailed into each corner. Gee, wonder what that could have been for. After a little research, he found out that this house was the set to many a porno movie. Right now, heís in the process of compiling all leftover props to make one particularly ďinterestingĒ room. I do believe that is worth a 3-hour drive. Weíll see, though. I wouldnít be able to make it up for a month, and well, a lot can happen in a month.

Iím just full of thoughts right now. Pensive, pondering, mmm, so many, I love it. My mind will not be bored this week, I can tell right now. As if Iím looking at a treasure chest, and of course, I canít see whatís inside, because I havenít yet opened the lid. But, there is a positively radiant glow beaming from every crack in the crate. Iím going to take my time with this one. And cherish each piece of my treasure, each new thing I know is on the way, and regardless of its intention, Iíll greet it with a smile as it pops out of the box and propels itself towards me. You see, most things donít give much warning. Itís just BOOM, hi! Iím here! And then you have to deal with it accordingly. I like that though, lovely element of surprise, keeps me on my toes.

I smile now, as I am handed a caramel cafť and a lemon biscotti (my coworkers do so spoil me) and put my little stresses about life into perspective. How insignificant things have the ability to play Chinese Fire Drill and end up driving half the time. And how, in moments like these, when someone remembers my favorite coffee, and Iíve had a good sleep, and I feel like there are so many things to look forward to, everything else just seems to dissipate, and I find myself back in the driverís seat. Oops! Burnt my tongue. Some things never change.

-Barbarella

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2007-05-19
NEW SITE!!!!

2007-05-16
Links and Update

2007-05-09
Two Links

2007-05-06
Yes, Even MORE new pictures

2007-05-06
Mizz Asshole

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Meditation 2001-02-07 15:18:07 I sneezed a hundred times this morning. I thought maybe I was allergic to my new shampoo, but no, my allergies have actually been acting up for the last few days, so it must just be that time of year; time to vacuum. It was much easier for me to wake up this morning than it has been in weeks. I can only attribute that to what I had for dinner (fish and carrots), because itís not like I went to bed any earlier. Well, now I know! Well-rounded meals mean well-rested Barb. Who knew?

So Iím on the verge of losing another $4500 because of my boss (this is in addition to the $6000 or so lost a few weeks ago). After this, though, she knows not to involve herself in any of my deals (I said ĎBad Girl!í and rubbed her nose on the invoice). My goodness, all the things I could have bought. Cíest la vie. So here, at work, I really need to put on my Productivity Cap. Because lately, Iíve just had no drive for it. I daydream about an editing job, something I love to do but have no schooling for. All I can say, is thank God itís Wednesday! Meditation tonight!! I SO need it! All these thoughts just gallivanting and cavorting around in my head, utter chaos in there, Iím telling you. Yeah, I said ďutterĒ, so you KNOW Iím serious.

A good friend of mine, an ex-fuckbuddy, from LA called me yesterday. He just moved into a new house (benefit of landing a role in more commercials, I guess), and wants me to visit soon. He said that in the yard, he found a giant wooden ďXĒ, complete with metal rings nailed into each corner. Gee, wonder what that could have been for. After a little research, he found out that this house was the set to many a porno movie. Right now, heís in the process of compiling all leftover props to make one particularly ďinterestingĒ room. I do believe that is worth a 3-hour drive. Weíll see, though. I wouldnít be able to make it up for a month, and well, a lot can happen in a month.

Iím just full of thoughts right now. Pensive, pondering, mmm, so many, I love it. My mind will not be bored this week, I can tell right now. As if Iím looking at a treasure chest, and of course, I canít see whatís inside, because I havenít yet opened the lid. But, there is a positively radiant glow beaming from every crack in the crate. Iím going to take my time with this one. And cherish each piece of my treasure, each new thing I know is on the way, and regardless of its intention, Iíll greet it with a smile as it pops out of the box and propels itself towards me. You see, most things donít give much warning. Itís just BOOM, hi! Iím here! And then you have to deal with it accordingly. I like that though, lovely element of surprise, keeps me on my toes.

I smile now, as I am handed a caramel cafť and a lemon biscotti (my coworkers do so spoil me) and put my little stresses about life into perspective. How insignificant things have the ability to play Chinese Fire Drill and end up driving half the time. And how, in moments like these, when someone remembers my favorite coffee, and Iíve had a good sleep, and I feel like there are so many things to look forward to, everything else just seems to dissipate, and I find myself back in the driverís seat. Oops! Burnt my tongue. Some things never change.