It�s interesting, yesterday, after typing so much seriousness, after getting all that out of my head, I was left empty and goofy and just plain wacko. I was in a giddy mood the rest of the day and everything was funny, and yes, I was sober.

Had a relaxing evening, Hell (I capitalize this because I�m a Satanist), it�s been a wonderfully relaxing week. Exactly what I wanted it to be. Rather than my weekly dance-club appearance, I had some friends over last night, hung a bit, chatted it up. Always nice. Then? Played on the computer. I love it that more and more of the people I know are keeping online journals, web logs, diary�s, whatever you want to call them. It�s amazingly convenient, interesting and entertaining to pop a button and see what�s going on in someone�s head that day. Something that happened that they forgot to mention on the phone, a way they�re feeling that they just didn�t have the energy to explain in person. I think in a big way, it brings friends closer together.

People seem surprised that I can open a flap in my head and give the world a peek like this, without feeling vulnerable, exposed. It�s not like I had this fear to overcome or anything. I�ve always been very open about where I�m coming from, been very communicative about my life and situations. And we forget, I still get to pick and choose what I put on here. I�m not telling you about anything that I don�t feel 100% comfortable sharing. Those are the things that I don�t even want to tell myself. Those are the things that are scribbled by hand at the end of the day for the sole purpose of getting them out of my head and into a book.

Anyway, I�m leaving work early today. I have a gyno appointment. I know, you were DYING to hear that, but fuck, I AM a woman, and there are times we all need to be prodded and probed and checked, inside and out. I�m on a mission to steal one of the tools. I don�t know if I�ll get away with it, but I�m thinking the forcep/thong-like things. Could you imagine? �Hey Barb, you�re responsible for bringing the tongs for the salad tonight!� Sure, great, I�ve been WAITING for the day. See what I mean? Completely delirious. Anyway, before you all go stressing, this is a routine check-up, the engine runs fine, no leaks or weird noises. And really, I can�t. Contain. My. Fucking. Enthusiasm. Heh, heh. I really am cracking myself up this morning, I haven�t stopped smirking and smiling at the screen since I got into work.

So that�s it in a nutshell. Today, gyno, tomorrow, nails, dinner and play with my father and sister, Sunday, the museum. Typical woman, typical weekend. I can�t believe I�m not going to any crazy parties. Downtimes are nice. Great, yeah, good. Down times. I�m happy you brought that up. That�s wonderful. Neat. Fun.

-Barbarella

previous | next