I am an asshole. Does this make me upset? Do I feel ashamed? NO. If doing what I want to do, with whom I want to do it, and when it is my preference makes me an asshole, then I happily embrace the label.
FYI: I have every right to choose to spend time with someone and NO obligation to invite someone else who has a history of being unpleasant company. If you think this sucks, if you think this is mean and unfair, ask yourself how pleasant you are to be around and how much effort you have put forth to be good company to others. Whether or not they're related to you.
FYI: It doesn't matter WHAT I choose to do, if I am choosing it, it is clearly my preference for whatever my reasons may be, and should therefore be respected. If you don't like my choices, then step away and don't watch. You cannot control them.
TRUTH: It is possible to love someone and not like them.
I am done with getting caught up in the back and forth bullshit drama of obligation and guilt for not doing what others think I should "want" to do, and doing what I "actually" want to do.
This is MY life. MY time. MY choices. I have every right to make MY own priorities, as you do to make yours. If my priorities are not the same as yours, you need to learn how to deal with it. I don't expect everyone around me to make the same choices I do.
In conclusion: If living my life according to my own values, comfort, and ideals makes me an asshole, then I am proud to claim the title.