I�m a genius. Wile E. Coyote. Genius. Fixed that problem with my Ms Word. Yup. I know, �scathingly brilliant, Barbarella!� Please, do hold the applause. I had an interesting, eventful weekend. Friday night, the last hoorah at the treehouse. Sniffle. Sigh. To stand there, in that courtyard, was to relive for a brief moment every conversation, every party, every feeling, every moment. There was love in that courtyard, a people saying goodbye to a part of their lives, saying goodbye to the days when all they had to do to see one another was walk out the front door, into a beautiful shared courtyard with a huge, generous tree. How many times have I gotten drunk there? More than anywhere else, that�s for sure, I�m not much of a drinker. How many heart-to-hearts, good and bad? Amidst all of the people, laughing and partying, I stood still for awhile, off to the side, and reflected. Remembered. I savored the look and feel of being there, a place I know, and put it away somewhere inside me. I can tap into it now whenever I wish.

But what about the party? Oh my. The costumes were amazing, the theme was �Rebirth�. One friend dressed as a Flying Fuck. She wore a transparent black-lace bodysuit, with purple feather wings, and a purple strap-on dildo. Some were superhero�s, some were kings, some had abstract ideas, some were dressed in clothing indicative of a career they�d like to have. Very cool party. Very cool people. I looked around, all of them smiling and talking with one another, laughing. I thought, These people are fucking cool. I dig my friends. The talent that was crammed into that little courtyard was almost overwhelming. Artists, professionals, music-makers, fire-twirlers, you name it. Wyland, the artist who paints murals of undersea life was there. He�s dating the beautiful Flying Fuck. Did you ever think that would happen? I love life�s unexpected turns.

I didn�t stay too late. I didn�t say goodbye to anyone when I left. I was already saying goodbye to so much that I may never see again. The people? I�ll see them again. So why say goodbye?

Saturday, I proved my automobile prowess yet again. Helped my sister jump her car. The battery was low, so the alarm was uncontrollable, kept going off at random. I managed not to get any dirt on my face, but I did jump and scream when the battery sparked an inch from my finger. Scary stuff, that. But we did it! Car started, I should have been a mechanic. Or maybe not.

Saturday night, Saturday night. I put a fire out. Sometimes, fire feeding fire feeding fire is never-ending until someone is burned severely. I try to avoid that as best I can. From now on, I will envision myself as walking water, immediately dousing any flame I see, any flame that threatens to burn somebody, intentionally or not. Why sit around and watch it to see where it will go when you can easily put it out and not worry about it anymore? God, she�s vague. I know, I apologize. What I�m trying to say is, some people are pyromaniacs. They love fire. I do not. I prefer water. So, if fire is approaching me, I will either walk away from it (slowly now, don�t want it to catch on a trail of air) or quickly put it out. That�s all.

The rest of Saturday night? Nunyo. Nunyo business. I had a fabulous time, and Sunday morning was more of the same.

Ah, Easter. I did something sacrilegious on the Lord�s Day, something I try to do every Christian holiday. I don�t believe in rules of the religious sort. I was raised Catholic, a religion that I now find monotonous and restrictive, inhibiting and insincere. As I find most organized religions to be. Baby-steps to a greater enlightenment, baby steps. I had dinner at my mother�s. Chicken Parmagiana and Lasagna. She�s Italian. My father was there. Interesting to watch the dynamics between he and my mother, the divorce still not final, neither of them dating anyone else. Then to see Heather and Sean, happily married for over 3 years and planning on their first child. I may write more about those dynamics another time, but for now, just mention that I watched. I thought. I felt, many things that I couldn�t put a name on now. As I said, it was interesting. Dynamics and behavior between people always did interest me, the body language, the words used.

Someone told me the other day, �You have to take me to a party sometime.� Listen to the words there. �Have to�? �Take me�? This is obviously someone who could get easily attached and need to be babysat if ever in a social situation with me. Notice they didn�t say, �Hey, what�s going on this weekend, what is fun, do you have any suggestions for me, I�m looking to go out.� No. It was YOU HAVE TO TAKE ME, which literally translates in my mind to �I cannot cope on my own, I need you to hold my hand to a place where you lead me to because I could never find my way alone.� And what do I do when I hear that? Blatant imposed obligation? I run the other way. Words and your choice of them say a lot about you, whether you�re aware of it or not, and I am one of those people who pays attention to the unspoken messages that people give. Physically, verbally, facially. It�s just always been interesting to me.

-Barbarella

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