Ah, I feel great this morning! After several days of getting a LOT of sleep, I feel well-rested and just plain, well, serene. I was wide awake before my alarm went off this morning, but remembering the dream I popped out of, I cuddled with the pillow and closed my eyes. I did this several times, jumping in and out of a dream, smiling my way back to dreamland, grinning and stretching my way out of it. Finally, when it was time to actually become vertical, I had all the energy in the world, and flitted around my apartment through my usual morning routine with a relaxed smile on my face. I love mornings like this.

Speaking of the word, serene, I love the 2nd definition of it in Encarta online: cloudless, bright and without clouds. The first definition is: calm and untroubled; without worry, stress or disturbance. Because that�s exactly how I felt this morning. God, I just love it when you find the RIGHT word for something. Interesting how I feel this way, though, as if everything is fine and groovy. Makes me think I�m manic or something. Because if you look at my life through a cynic�s eyes, everything is definitely not fine and groovy. At least not on the work-front. My office is going to shit. I seem to have taken this apathetic stance, though, I actually find humor in the ever-increasing drama around me. People are walking off the job, layoffs are in the air, management is retarded. What else is new? I remember a time when I used to actually look forward to getting to work in the morning. I miss that.

It�s like a chore now, like something I put up with, get through, tolerate and suffer through. Our new office is beautiful, that�s nice. Morale is horrible, everywhere I turn, someone else is bitching about one thing or another, comparing lack of work ethic between offices, and I�m one of them. I�ve got nothing good to say about the management or the morale in this company. I keep my eyes frantically peeled for any opportunities around me, any little boats to carry me away from this sinking ship. But you know, the ship won�t sink. A 50-year old company doesn�t just go under. But it does cut its losses, if you know what I mean, and I just stopped caring a long time ago. I don�t like what I�m doing and I don�t like working for inept incompetents. So, we�ll see what happens from here. Right now, I�m doing my job and trying to look necessary until I see a boat within jumping reach.

But still, again, I must say that I�m in a wonderful mood. Because I just don�t care about this part and every other part is worthy of great appreciation. Meaning the whole rest of my life, of course. Because this is really just a small fraction of the big equation. My life is full of joy. So, work sucks? What else is new, show me the person who has EVERYTHING perfect? And how boring would that be? There are a few quotes I�d like to share now, a few of the many hundred I have hand-copied in a binder at home (I write them down when the mood strikes, as I come across them, etc., and have been doing so for years now).

So, onto your day and onto your week, and here are some things to think about as you travel:

�If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, �thank you,� that would suffice.� � Meister Eckhart

�Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have.�

And finally, a poem written by a man named David Ignatow. It reminds me of the mountain I used to meditate at. I would drive out to the local lake, wind my way through the brush and find a clear spot to sit, and just stare at this giant hill. How insignificant my daily stresses seemed in comparison with this mound of earth, there before me, there long after me. So this poem hit a chord of nostalgia when I encountered it yesterday:

Content: A Poem

I should be content

To look at a mountain

For what it is

And not as a comment

On my life.

Tell me now, isn�t that Beautiful? I�ve cried at the base of the mountain, and all it has ever done for me is absorb my tears into its soil. And somehow, in some way, its majestic stability, its unbending apathy, was a comfort to me. It whispered through blades of grass and swirls of dust that just as my tears disappeared in the dirt, so shall the cause of my pain. It assured me with silence that this too shall pass, and that my problems, like me, are just little specks of dust in the eyes of the mountain. And who knew this was going to be such a thoughtful entry? My point is, people, I am serene today. And my only goal of the day is to stop, breathe, and appreciate it. I suggest you do the same.

-Barbarella

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