Alright then. So I have this tendency to blow things way out of proportion, stress myself sick, freak out over worst-case-scenarios. I built up the horror of a meeting today for the past week and a half. Imagined all the tragic things that would occur, be said, etc. I didn�t sleep last night, I was so stressed. Thought that I�d been off-track, the knowledge that I�ve not been doing as well as I could be was eating me from the inside-out. The meeting happened. It was completely painless. Actually, it was quite nice, great conversation, brainstorming of ideas, wonderful motivation thrown my way. Understanding and inspiration. Two things I really needed at my job right now. I feel 100% better.

Another obstacle overcome. I think I create obstacles just so that I can feel accomplished when I supposedly �overcome� them. As the stress ebbed away this morning regarding work, so did the stress in every other aspect of my life. I felt unburdened, like I had removed a tight clip from a bun on my head and shaken my hair free. Very Herbal Essence-like. I didn�t realize I had given so much energy to my stresses lately. I�m still unwinding, I can feel muscles and organs releasing built-up tension as I type this. Onto other things in life.

My wonderful friend is cooking me another wonderful dinner tonight. I�m so spoiled. I�m telling you, I�m this close to becoming a lesbian and taking her as my wife. She cooks, she cleans, she has a lot of sex toys, what more could a girl want? That should be fun. We�re going camping this weekend, I know that�ll be fun. I�m going with two people I like to be around very much right now, and a few extras (my hired drivers, hee hee). The last time I went camping (aside from Burning Man, of course), was quite an experience. I stood by and watched the chain of life occur before my very eyes. It was 7 am. I didn�t sleep all night, too amazed by the stars and the rising sun as my friends were passed out all around me from a night of drinking in the desert.

Lazy smile on my face, I looked down to where our food was scattered on a blanket, and saw a mouse trying to drag a graham cracker. It was the most amazing real-life natural animal scene I had ever witnessed. And then it turned Discovery Channel. As I�m smiling, watching the mouse struggle with the cracker, happy to see a creature doing its thing, a hawk swooped down from the sky, and snatched up the mouse. The cracker rose a few feet with the mouse (probably gripped for dear life with its little claws), then fell back to the ground, hardly a �tap� as it landed. And no one saw it but me. I stood there for a few minutes, mouth agape, sort of in a �duh, mousy got caught� retardo look. Good thing no one saw THAT. I was more in awe than anything, I love to watch nature, but as we all know, if nothing�s happening, that can get boring at times. Something definitely happened here, after hours of sitting and staring blankly, so at first, I didn�t have a reaction formulated. It�s all good.

Okay, deep breath�.. aaaahhhhhhhh, let it out. Life is back to normal� for now.

-Barbarella

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