Had to toast my bagel over the toilet this morning. Yeah, see, we blew a circuit or something, and the outlets in our little kitchen area were out. The bagel MUST be toasted. I ripped the plug out of the power strip, and, holding the toaster, bagel inside, just wanting to get warm, I looked around desperately for another outlet. The only one I found was right above the toilet. Hoping no one would see, I carried the toaster into the bathroom, set it down on that flat porcelain top part (you know), and pushed down the little lever, watching my bagel slide down and start to get hot. Whew! I seriously almost had some kind of panic attack. If that outlet in the bathroom didn�t work, I don�t know what I would have done. I got the toaster back to its spot safely and quickly, before anyone was the wiser. And two minutes later, the power came back on. What, how was I to know?

ANYWAY, sheesh. Why you gotta judge, it�s not like I dipped my bagel in the toilet water or anything. At least, as far as YOU know. I�m back this morning, at work, new girl, yadda yadda. I need to figure out a game-plan here, and soon. But I�ll get to that another time. Coachella was AWESOME. Wow. So much fun. We drove up there on Friday night, 8 of us. After a little birthday celebration, most of the group went to wander the hotel, down to the bar, party-hopping amidst the rooms. Turns out there were a lot of bands staying at the resort with us. I had no idea when I booked the rooms that this hotel was a full-fledged resort (the cost should have told me something, but I can�t remember the last time I paid for a hotel room � you know, business trips, baby). Weezer, Jane�s Addiction, Tricky, Roots, those were the ones I knew for sure were there. Perry was supposedly two-doors down from us, though I didn�t see him myself.

I was a pussy Friday night, exhausted from a week that drained me, I went right to bed while the lot of them partied on, meeting people, rubbing elbows, and basically having a grand-ol� time. Saturday was the festival. We got there later than expected, thanks to an accidental detour, but it worked out perfectly. I missed Iggy Pop, was bummed about that, but the rest of the day and evening surely made up for that disappointment. St. Germain was amazing. I�d never heard much of his music, but the show was spectacular, and I do believe that�s about the same time my shrooms kicked in. Been a while since I�ve done that, too. We saw some of Jane�s Addiction, caught the end of FatBoy Slim�s set, and the entire Chemical Brother�s set. One of the best laser shows I�ve seen, thousands of smiling people, running into friends, laughing, dancing, laughing some more. Like I said, the shrooms KICKED IN. I had an inner dialogue with myself for about an hour. I was the funniest person in the world, and it was my secret, which I thought was even funnier. A few times, I actually responded to myself out loud, then laughed even louder, because I couldn�t believe I had slipped and �let some out where THEY could hear.� Didn�t say it was a good story, but it�s what happened. Thank goodness at that point the music was loud and no one was paying attention to me, because the last thing I needed on top of my big, top-secret humorous identity was embarrassment. Would�ve been a buzz-kill.

After event, around midnight, we headed to the car, achy, tired, spent. My feet were killing me, but it was almost sweet, the way they burned, because I remembered the steps that got them that way. The fun they had, and the things they led me to. We eventually made our way back to the hotel. Again, I was one of the first to fall asleep. What�s happened to me? It was a very surreal sleep, though. Every time I woke up, something else was happening, someone new was in the room. I slept. I opened my eyes and Tricky�s little brother and back-up singers were sitting in the corner, smoking pot and telling stories. I slept. I opened my eyes and there was a guy on the bed, sitting over me, looking down at me, met my gaze and said, �I just took acid for the first time, dropped a few minutes ago.� I slept. I opened my eyes, had to go pee, there was a couple in the bathtub, but they didn�t mind the intrusion. I slept. Interesting evening.

Sunday morning, I felt rested, lazy in a happy way, that way that you are lazy and smiley right after good sex, when all you want to do is stretch on the bed, feel the soft sheets and blankets all around you, softer than usual because you are lazy and your skin is extra-sensitive. That kind of lazy. Deep breath, cat-in-the-sun lazy. Just waking up but don�t have anywhere you need to be, so stay in bed and feel the comfort lazy. I like that lazy. We drove back, I slept, a nice nap. Stopped at those dinosaurs on the way back, had some food, took some pictures in front of the giant dinosaur-shaped buildings. Last night, slept like a rock. And today, I feel great. Still need to get back to reality, figure out my game-plan, what the hell is going on with my work, my life, my everything.

But it�s okay. Because I�ll figure it out. For now, I�m just going to sit in the after-glow of a weekend well-spent. And I�m going to take things one step at a time. Life is good. There are too many joys to be had to waste all of our attention on all of the stresses. Shit will happen or it won�t. It�s no use stressing about things that haven�t happened yet. What if they never happen? All that energy spent, all that stress and worry, all for naught. If I don�t take things as they come, instead of anticipating and worrying whether or not they�ll come, and how I�ll react if they do or don�t, then well, I would just go mad.

-Barbarella

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