It�s free coffee day!!! Free, because my little pink card is stamped to the max. See, you get a little stamp every time you buy a coffee, and once in a blue moon, your card is filled with those little stamps and you can revel in getting something for free even though they say that nothing comes for free! Coffee girl even threw in an extra shot of espresso. Not that I particularly need it today. I feel so RESTED. Mmm, aaahhhh. I didn�t do anything yesterday. Wait, that�s wrong, I DID finally get my laundry done. But other than that, nothing, nada.

Oh wait, there WAS Momosa�s with the girls at the ParkHouse Eatery. Forgot about that. How lovely, to lounge on a Wednesday morning, sharing the refreshing taste of citrus sparkle with a few wonderful ladies. I can�t complain. Tuesday night was surprisingly eventful, full of crazy turns and interesting detours. I swear, I was planning on being in bed before 10pm. I should have specified the DAY in my little plan. I was in bed shortly after 10pm yesterday. Not Tuesday. If that makes any sense. If it doesn�t, pretend this is an SAT test and skip the difficult part, only come back to it if you have time at the end.

My muffin tastes like a fucking dried sponge. Oh, but where was I. Yes, yes, Tuesday night. Had a few friends over, one was stopping over on his way to meet up with his man, and the other was organizing audio tapes by genre of music (for me! For my new car, now I get to hear new music as well!) that he had brought over to lend to me. By the way, I must mention here because it just popped into my head again, I couldn�t have done my makeup any better if I was Kevin Aucoin himself this morning. I look fabulous. But back to my story.

Mr. Music and I went to go grab a bite, for a ride in my new baby, share some words and some life goals, after which we decided to swing by S�s place, where I knew the girls may be getting together. Only I had told them earlier that I wouldn�t be joining them, had to get to bed early, all that shit. They were leaving me a message as I was knocking on the door. All of them there! Happy as a pig in shit to walk in and find all of them there. (notice my crass tone this morning? feeling naughty, bear with it, you'll be fine, trust me). S, S AND K. Sigh. We allowed He-With-A-Penis to join us on an improvised Ladies� Night. Always, everything goes awry. But always, for the better. Off to Nunu�s, some drinks, some drinks? Yes, some drinks. Met up with friends there, back to S�s for more drinks, some toenail painting, some laughs, a pathetic attempt to play dominoes, and some more drinks.

S and I called in sick to work. I had anxiety attacks all day because of it. You know, the typical, feeling irresponsible, that whole self-loathing bit. I got over it, though. All I had to do was think about all the days my boss has missed, all the success I�ve had here in the last 3 weeks, and in my heart I was finally justified in my rationalization. Thank God, because I don�t think I could have survived that level of anxiety for more than a day. Anyway, after we called in, it was off to check out the world on a Wednesday morning, see who�s out and about during the week, when the rest of us are usually at work. Then home, to lay in bed and have anxiety, but to get over it and relish in the comfort of laying in bed, with my babies (two huge panther-esque cats). Had a friend over last night, watched You Don�t Know Jack, that new game show with Paul Reubins as the host (you know, Pee Wee Herman?) Fuckin� funny as shit.

Took a loooooonnnnnng shower and fell asleep on clean linen, a freshly scrubbed face on a downy-soft pillow, exfoliated body on clean sheets. Everything�s softer when clean, at least when it comes to me and my bed. And I slept like a baby. What fun it is to be young and carefree (anxiety aside). I�d say �I love my life�, but that�s become clich� to me. Let�s suffice it to say that life is good. And life is what you make of it, and what you get out of life is what you put into it, primarily what attitude you throw towards it. All very classic. All very simple. All very true. There�s a quote I stumbled across this morning, kind of a philosophy of mine: �You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering.� -Henri Frederic Amiel, philosopher and writer (1821-1881)

We each have the power to see things however we want to. So if you find yourself angry with the world, feeling indignant, being wronged, being hurt, being used, being disliked, being depressed, being stressed, just remember � you are CHOOSING to be that way. It�s like Eleanor Roosevelt said, no one can insult me without my permission. Well, I refuse to feel insulted, I refuse to feel cheated, I refuse to feel disliked. And I choose to appreciate, love, learn, laugh, cry and laugh some more. And if I slip, if I catch myself choosing those dark moments, those dark feelings instead of seeing the wonder and beauty of things, of me, of my life, of life in general, then I will feel it. And then remind myself that I have the power to feel differently. Woo, sorry there, didn�t realize this would turn into some self-help empowerment rant. But you get me. Fuck �em all because MY LIFE is fucking FABULOUS. And so am I.

-Barbarella

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