Four different people offered to make me dinner last night. That�s always nice. Keep it up everyone, I�ll never have to cook again!!! My sister Heather tried to get me to drive all the way to her new place for some leftovers (but keep in mind, Sean�s leftovers are better than some restaurant�s gourmet dishes, he�s just a great friggin� cook) and a movie. I couldn�t muster the will to drive 20 minutes there and 20 minutes back. She was disappointed, you see, as a teacher, she�s on vacation now for a long time and just wants to hang.

Tonight she�s trying to convince me to go to the Casbah to see her friends, the Hatchett Brothers play. Good band, HOT guitarist, which would be the only draw if I just happened to end up there tonight. That, and the fact that his girlfriend (yes, Pony, that WAS his woman we saw at the Turf) is an older, evil, beastly hippy creature. Ooh, is that jealousy? Heh heh, nah, I wouldn�t go there. I�m not much of a home-wrecker, no matter HOW shoddy the home seems to look from the outside. There�s plenty of hot single men to go around, and I just have an opinion about girls who seek out guys who are noticeably with someone: poor, insecure little things who gather scraps of self-confidence and validation from little conquests they set for themselves, namely �getting the guy,� thereby proving (in a way) to themselves and others that they are desirable. Sad. It�s just not me.

But I wouldn�t mind going to watch him strum that guitar and appreciate that gorgeous face of his. Nothing wrong with a little crush. Tomorrow night, Gregory Page and Frank Drebin (also good friends of my sister) are playing at the Old Sod. I think she may be able to drag me to that. Not to mention, Pixie just said she'd come out as well! Last time they played, Frank got up on the bar wearing nothing but red-lace thongs and black fish-net stockings and I MISSED it. Fun guys, GREAT music, very talented and fucking hilarious. It�s been too long since I�ve seen them play, I used to bring a posse to see them every time they came up to play the Mint in LA. Alright, it�s decided. I�m so happy you were here to witness the inner deliberation of Barb�s plan-making. Anyway, after I told Heather that I wasn�t up for the drive, and that I would definitely go with her to at least one of her friend�s shows, Zim stopped by with a tempting offer of some chicken stir fry. But Jenny had just called and said that she picked up some food at the store and was coming home to cook it for us. How could I pass that up? Little sis wanting to cook? Just adorable! (I ended up cooking, but it was still nice).

Right before she got home, Kitty called and tempted me yet again with her savory pasta and marinara with sausage sauce. What was it about last night? Tuesday culinary domesticity taking hold and all of those around me were affected. Trust me, I don�t mind it at all. In fact, as I type this, I�m mentally brainstorming to figure out a way to create a contagion for this �disease� that I can use to infect EVERYONE I know, therefore never having to prepare my own food again. Sounds nice in theory.

I�m reading a good book again. Oprah�s book of the month club, always good for something pulpy. Full of juice, full of heart, not empty and cold with a noticeable style, but GOOD. It�s important for me to FEEL while reading. I like to have my strings pulled by words, it�s a cool thing to experience. I�ve been reading the same book for the past several weeks, not making much progress in it, interesting plot, but I just cannot easily follow the writing style. Damn Brits. Martin Amis is his name, I believe. Maybe I�ll go back to it later when I have more time. For now, I�ll take the easy-read-emotion-pull Oprah choice. It�s important to ALWAYS be reading a book you enjoy. Just to have it there, waiting for you in your car, by your bed. This may sound strange, but it�s always been like a soothing reassurance for me. Like, what do I do now? What�s going on, where am I supposed to be? Oh, I always have that wonderful book to read. Whew! This may not make much sense to you, but in my mind, the pieces of this puzzle are sliding into place, perfectly lubed, perfectly shaped, air-tight.

And as the week goes on, my mind becomes more and more settled. Because I have this idea, you know. Of where I�m going. And right now, the coast is clear.

-Barbarella

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