Oh, look at that! I went a day or so without updating! Craziness. Now you know how my home journal feels, all neglected and shit. I still need to get to that at some point, especially since I have all this time, there�s just no excuses. Hmm. But anyhow, on with the update. I feel like a witch, you know, like I have some unspoken powers. It�s a horrible thing, I�m sure. But Monday, I dropped Pixie and her beautiful friend off at the airport, to see them off to Cabo, and miss them for a week. I got home and went into an errand-running, cleaning frenzy of some sort. Anything to feel busy, to feel productive. And then, Pony called. Hurricanes in Cabo, the girls couldn�t leave, we�re having a bar-b-que, I could meet them at Pony�s house around dinner time. Lovely. Did I make that happen? Did I somehow conjure the 4 winds and blow Cabo to bits so I�d have my girls this week, even though I truly wanted them to go and have a great time? We may never know. Heh, heh.

Dinner was fucking fantastic. Pony sparked up the grill (we almost resorted to using pages from Vogue, but she finally caved and ran out for lighter fluid), and for the first time in MY life at least, we threw the shrimp on the Barbie. Pixie and her friend were busy in the kitchen whipping up a creamy risotto, juicy broiled vegetables and a delectable salad. I milled about, made phone calls to find out what trouble we could possible get ourselves into on a Monday night. Dinner was done, and the four of us sat at Pony�s dining table, looking wide-eyed at the plates in front of us, perfectly pink-charred shrimp, the colors, the freshness, the textures, the tastes! For a few minutes, all that could be heard throughout her place was, �Mmmm, Oh my God, Wow, did you try this one? Oh yeah, try that one now.� Very nice.

Turns out there�s not much trouble me and my girls can get into on a Monday night. We stopped by Nunu�s for a drink, and I headed home shortly thereafter. Yesterday, Cyrano and Mel met me for lunch, and I was able to put a break in the middle of a not-as productive day, which was still very nice. Into the evening, Pony came over with popcorn and wine, and we grabbed one of my DVD�s and headed over to Fizgig�s. So much fun, Billy Elliot is a great movie anyway, the popcorn was homemade, and Fizgig�s friends at his temporary residence gathered around to hang with us. After the movie, a prompt bong load (that kind of sounds like something to do with shit, if you�re not familiar with it, but I�m talking about poking the smot here, people� poking it in a big way), and a superbly edited showing of the South Park episode with Towlie, the pot-smoking towel. Too perfect. A few nights of fun and frivolity, yet both relaxing in their ways, more replenishing to me than draining in all ways possible. Mmmmm.

My mother just called, dates for New York are set. It�s been hard trying to pinpoint Jeffrey�s wife on planning the services, I think his mother, Aunt Carol, finally did take over. The 10th & the 11th. My entire family leaves on the SAME plane on Monday. My father insisted we take at least two different planes, but then coworkers began to chip in their frequent flier miles, and this way, all SIX of us are riding for FREE. We should be very grateful. Yeah, I�m stressed. Gone for a week and a half in the beginning of being unemployed, it�s not going to be easy. A week of not looking or interviewing, a week of bills. It�ll be okay, I know it. I was so stressed for a moment I actually considered NOT going to New York. Being the only person in my immediate and extended family who is not there. For what, to call companies, hit the streets and hate myself for not being at the one place that week that I�m supposed to be? No. I�m going. And I�ll get through this time with a smile on my face and a tear in my eye.

Just the way I like to live life. Just the way life likes to be lived. I try to stay somewhere right between the two.

-Barbarella

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