�Not all those that wander are lost.� � J.R.R. Tolkien (I shouldn�t have to tell you who that is, but I will mention that he lived from 1892 to 1973)

I�m stuck in a kind of gap right now. Every little thought I have that begins to take me in a certain direction is cut to the quick, the road seems too long, too arduous. I step back quickly, so as not to lose the space I had, right here, where I�m standing. Another direction. Same thing. It�s hard to explain, for obviously, I haven�t traveled down any road of thought enough to figure out what they are, I�m just stuck in a patch of inklings. Ever feel that way before?

I�m getting my hair done tonight. I�m hanging out with some women tonight, we�re going to put on make-up and go out tonight. We may listen to music. We may flirt with men. Perhaps through all of the routine of getting ready and going out, I�ll snap out of this fucking blas� bullshit mood and let loose a little. Get down a little. Maybe even get dirty a little. We�ll see. It�s only 9am, I�ve got plenty of time to figure it out.

My sisters are amazing, just thought I�d mention it. Jen just emailed me a picture of the 4 of us - crazy and fun and smart women, loving and giving and loyal women. You don�t know what it�s like to be surrounded by 3 people, 3 sisters, 3 pieces of you, 3 extensions of you, 3 �good sides� of you. Or maybe you do. I marvel at it, I bask in it, I revel in it. And I thank God for it. The four of us together create an energy that feels better to me than any drug, any warm day in the park, any anything. Just thought I�d mention it.

I hung out with Pixie last night, chatting, clearing miscommunications that come with lack of communication. It was good, like a muddy pool slowly segregating soil and revealing the water until it's clear as crystal. It�s interesting to me how some things I said were twisted and distorted by the time they got to her ears. I�d say vice versa, but I�ve heard nothing. Silence isn�t always golden. Pixie shared with me some thoughts and words and news on some people we know mutually. People amuse me.

Okay, I�m going to let you go for the day, for now, because this mood I�m in has the potential to take us down roads of thought that I�m unwilling to travel right now in heels. Some day. Some day, we�ll take a nice, long walk.

-Barbarella

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