I'm not sure if I'm unmotivated or simply lazy. I don't understand how so much time can go by, in which I seem to spend somehow, but get absolutely nothing DONE. I might have to come up with some "schedule" I force myself to follow, something that ensures I am maximizing my time, rather than dicking off -- something on which I am an expert.

Sigh. I'm trying decide whether or not I want to write a column about last night. I don't think so, there's plenty more going on this weekend that is reportable. Last night was Ventanas "exclusive" anniverasary party. I was happy to run into Lizzie and Jeff outside, familiar faces in a see of the retarded little clubbers that waited anxiously in line outside my event, which happened to be nextdoor to another event that Lizzie was attending.

I had fun, the drinks were tasty, the crew with me was energetic and hot, I got to meet Conrad in person after phone conversations and word of mouth "hellos". We brought my friend Ed along, and he and M.s. looked fabulous in leather. Mmm, leather. We boogied, we chatted, I was outta there before 10:30. Waiting outside reminded me of clubbing in L.A., waiting in line to party, hoping to get inside. It's all so silly. I went because it was a "private party," "invite only", and I thought I would be spared the antics of a typical club.

When we have our phat pad, M.s. and I are going to throw our own parties, so that we don't have to deal with the crowds downtown, or the ridiculous waiting in line. I'll make my own guest list and hire a bouncer for the door. Wait, they'll have to ring up anyway, won't they. The point is, it's fun to people watch downtown, and I love to watch men shoot and score, women fidget incessantly, but I'm not up for the singles' scene. It's exhausting.

I'd rather just party with my friends, in a controlled environment (controlled by me, of course). All in good time. I got to shop yesterday with Mistress Luna, and I helped her pick out some HOT PVC skirts, a lovely leather corset. Ooh, mama.

We toured around town, we hit up the good shops, I took her down to see the mini model of my not-yet-finished new home. Fun was had by all. Tonight, I'm looking forward to the Erotic Art party. You'll probably hear about that in the paper, as I'm sure it's bound to be eventful.

Right now... I should probably motivate and get some shit done. But this book by James Ellroy is a gripper... hee hee.

-Barbarella

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