What a surreal morning. I woke up groggy (mmm, matzah-ball soup as a sleeping pill), gathered my shit together, and headed out for a day of work and errands, starting with downtown. The fourth light I reached from home was green, but no one was moving. Looking ahead, I could see cop cars and officers standing in the road, holding off traffic. Huh. Must be an accident. Finally, we were directed forward, and as we passed the intersection, I rubbernecked to the right, looking for wreckage, for carnage, something to explain the hold up. But what did I see?

Elephants. Elephants marching, swaying, thumping the pavement parallel to the freeway. Ooh-Kay. With one brow raised, I smirked and drove the rest of the way downtown, to the court house. I forgot that today is �closing argument day� in the Westerfield case. The traffic, cameras, and general hubbub reminded me, as I chatted with my sister on the phone and circled for a spot. I was actually glad to have had to park farther away, as it gave me an excuse to stroll around downtown San Diego on a Tuesday morning.

Past the cameras, past the vans, the satellite dishes, the onlookers, past the homeless man, past the well-dressed anchor-people. I arrived at the Federal Court Building. In the door, discombobulated, perhaps still reeling from the non sequitur vision of elephants in my neighborhood, I fumbled through my purse when the guard asked me for my ID. Then, in confusion, thinking I had arrived before court was officially open, I said, �But I don�t work here.� Good one, Barb.

I found my ID, I made it through the security check, so reminiscent of the airport, with their little conveyer belt for my purse and everything. Up the elevator with a woman who was intent on not being friendly to save her life, and onto the third floor. Door to the left, closed. To my right, at the end of the room, a single man standing at a podium. A cell phone in his left hand, and he seemed to be checking his messages, and as I arrived at his little station, this pompous little man did the most obnoxious and annoying thing � he held up his right index finger, gestured in a way that sent the message, �Shh, you wait until I�m done with this.�

I wanted to slap the phone out of his hand, but I realized, hey, this is all this guy gets to do. Might as well go along with it, and I smiled as obsequiously as possible and waited for him to finish with his fucking phone. He did, I held out an envelope, and he stepped back. Ooh-Kay, I told him I needed to hand deliver it to a particular judge. A phone was buzzed, a woman met me at a door that I could not pass through at the end of a long hall.

I had this sense that I was in some kind of Willy Wonka Dream. Everyone seemed so covert and serious. I gave the envelope to the woman through the tiny slit of the door she opened just enough to get her head and hand through (guess I�m not allowed to see in there), and I went back to the elevator. I got off when the doors opened, and there were 6 people standing in front of me. I said, �Well hello, everybody!� in a joking manner and exited, before I realized I was on the wrong floor and followed them all back into the elevator, to which I said, �Well hello again!� I could tell by the looks on their faces and their averted eyes (no one make direct contact with the crazy-woman) that they did not know what to make of me.

And here I am. Holy shit, 10am and I�ve got an entire day of weirdness ahead of me. In a few hours, I drive up to Del Mar for the company luncheon and a tour of the North County Offices. Wish me luck, people. I am in my own little world here.

-Barbarella

previous | next