Woo, I'm sleepy. I tried to stay up late last night, to force my body into a new schedule, because tonight we fly out, and I want to remain awake for as many hours as possible while I'm sitting in first class. That's something you just don't want to miss.

It's been a fun, busy weekend, my only regret is that I did not get to see my friend Lizzie on her birthday. Friday night we had planned, and did attend the grand opening of the new local Design Within Reach studio, after which we met up with Zim for a few celebratory drinks -- he just helped to successfully launch the new game, Everquest II. He was a programmer or art designer or something special in the process for it. Don't hate me for not knowing.

Yesterday I dragged M.s. down to Chula Juana so we could help celebrate my beautiful niece's first birthday. She didn't know the difference, but it was fun for the rest of us. Aside from the loud, pushy, disease-ridden children running amuck, it was a great time. I got to hang out with my sisters and parents, see members of the in-law family that I rarely get to see, and old friends of my sister.

Ollie Ababwa is ON HIS WAY DOWN! That's right, I've been telling everyone. I helped hook the boy up with a gig at the R, and I can't wait for everyone to have the opportunity to read his witty, acerbic writing. We're all happy to have our boy back in town.

Today, we must pack. I did some laundry yesterday, but I haven't packed a thing. Shit, we haven't even completely UNpacked from our recent trip to Seattle and back. No matter. I've got the toiletry bags handy. My laptop is charged. I'm about to spend Thanksgiving away from San Diego for the first time in... many years, whenever we lived in Rhode Island, I think I was 9.

I'll be on Martha's Vineyard for the next week and a half or so. I'll try to update from abroad, but my main priority is writing and researching. I'm bringing my journals along for continued study and analyzation. On a side note, I've discovered that just as I recognized my own patterns through journaling, I'm recognizing friends' patterns through reading. Some people just fail to grow. Others surprise the fuck out of me with where they end up. But it's those few, those few that want and never get, the few that talk but never do, the few that do the same thing with the same people over and over and over, that I'm going to take a small step away from.

Sometimes it's me, hopin' and a wishin'. But not anymore. At some point in my writing I chose to be happy. I can't stress it enough that everyone has it in their power to love themselves. My lesson was easy, it came to me in an epiphany. Other people have to be shit on and stepped on and broken down before they realize they deserve better. Or, they continue to be miserable, and succeed in bringing everyone around them down. But I'm running on now.

This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for the fact that I love myself, and that I have so much love in my life. Because I know what the other side is like, and it ain't pretty.

-Barbarella

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